Getting Over Stage Fright

People give stupid advice for overcoming performing jitters.

1. "Just picture the audience naked!" Oh, come on! With obesity rates soaring, do you really want to imagine your co-worker in the next cubicle naked? As Jon Stewart would say, "AWKWARD!" 

2. "Just go and have fun!" Yeah, right! Cause it's so easy to have fun when your freaked out, stone cold sober, with 500 people staring at you.  

3. "Just be yourself!" Which "self?" You mean the same bitchy "self" I was when I was cursing out AT&T for cutting me off because I had gone OVER my UNLIMITED data plan?
I don't think people will pay to see that self.

Best advice for overcoming stage fright and having confidence is... drum roll please... PREPARATION. 

If your preparation is a shot of tequila and the hope that inspiration will occur to you when you step on stage -- you might want to consider actually mastering some of the classic comedy formulas PRIOR to your performance.These formulas give everyone a method to the madness of writing comedy. And most comics and speakers will agree that stage fright leaves as soon as they get their first laugh.

On first look, using a formula might seem hack, or limiting. But, working within a structure actually helps creative people to have MORE freedom and get over fear. Formulas are like creative training wheels that will get you rolling.

The beauty of these formulas is that the structure disappears when you perform them and what emerges is your own unique persona and talent. In my NYC workshop, although everyone was working with the same formulas, they all sounded different. "The Reluctant Admission" formula, which I described in a previous blog, is used by Robin Williams, Chris Rock, and others. Why? It works.

For instance, using the "LIST OF THREE" formula, a comic sets up a pattern on the first two serious ideas and then "turns" on the third. Even George Carlin used this, "I like Florida; everything is in the eighties: the temperature, the ages, and the IQs."

The first two set up a pattern of expectancy and the third one is the surprise.

Now your turn! Write out the funny part to this setup:
"There are three subtle clues that your relationship might be on the rocks..."

1. You've stopped communicating.
2. You don't hug at night.
3. INSERT SOME CLUE THAT'S HUGE AND OBVIOUS!

There is nothing like getting laughs to build up your confidence and get you over stage fright.

You can post your jokes on my blog here. I love reading your comments.

You Have a Super Power

Thank you readers for your hilarious comments on last week's blog 

"Personal Note to Judy's Hacker" where I told the story of my dysfunctional relationship with the hacker who stole my Apple ID.  

 

Funny upshot -- my blog found its way to Apple Corp  where it circulated, prompting a PHONE call from the head of Apple security. I immediately assumed that the call was from my hacker. 

 

He said, "No! I'm really from Apple." 

 

"Right! That's exactly what my hacker would say. I'm so on to you and your sneaky tricks." 

 

He replied, "Let me give you my Apple email. You can email me and I'll fix your problems." 

 

And he did. Wow!  

 

It dawned on me that that's the Power of Humor. We funny people have a gift that we shouldn't save just for the stage.  We have the power to turn any frustrating situation into comedy. After all, isn't that what stand-up is - complaining in a funny way. I decided to spend the day practicing my new found philosophy.   

 

I went to US Bank to get a copy of my equity line agreement, which I was told would be waiting for me to simply pick it up. But the manager hadn't a clue where it was and lacked the motivation to find the documents. My frustration was interrupted by a girl who entered the bank lobby yelling, "The ATM took my card. I want it back now! My father knows the president here! I will pull all my money out unless you give me my card! Now!"  

 

I turned to the stressed-out manager and said, "You take care of her and I'll be right back." I came back with cookies and said, "I thought you might enjoy these cause it looks like a few of your customers forgot to take their meds." 

 

She laughed.   

 

All of a sudden, my documents that she wasn't able to find 10 minutes ago, magically appeared with a smile. 

 

I felt the power.  

 

That night I went out to 31 Flavors with my friend. While the young girl was scooping my ice cream I commented, "Your ice cream scooping technique is fabulous. It's amazing how strong and skillful you are in creating such a perfectly round scoop of ice cream."

She laughed, proudly showing off her well developed right bicep. 

My scoop of ice cream was 50% larger than my friend's. 

Again - the power! 

 

My message this week? Don't be a Drama Queen - be a Comedy Queen. You get more sweet stuff back when you give it out.

Personal Note to Judy's Hacker

I've been in a tizzy because someone hacked into my Apple Account and stole my identity!

At my age, I am a bit flattered that someone even wanted to steal my identity. When other friends had theirs' stolen, I thought, "Was my life so boring that no one found it valuable enough to steal?"

I can only assume that my hacker is reading this right now. So, I would like to take a moment and write a personal message to him or her.

Dear Hacker, or do I just call you Hack?

You know so much about me -- my social security number, even those faded numbers on the back of my credit cards. Yet, I know so little about you. In my fantasy you sort of look like the girl from that movie The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo. I imagine you sitting at your lap top with your multiply piercings, rubbing A&D ointment on your new tattoo, and reading my boring emails. Are you as bored with my life as I sometimes am?  BTW, what did I buy you with those iTunes gift cards?  I like to imagine you as a Robin Hood sort, stealing from me to buy gifts for orphans in Africa. Are you going to declare it as a tax deduction or can I declare you as a dependent?

Quick question: Are you the same Hacker who keeps sending me the emails announcing that "I am the beneficiary of Prince Muvaggie's 35 million dollars?"  Please, don't be insulted, but people don't call you "Hack" for nothing. The emails are SO unoriginal, too long, and humorless. Hack, you DON'T have to be a hack. You CAN be original.

Hack - come to my comedy workshop in New York, or in Dallas, and I will show you how to write original material. You CAN do this. I promise that you will get personal attention and leave being able to make people laugh and create happiness rather than misery.

You don't need to steal MY persona - you can have your OWN and I will help you find it. Matter of fact, if you register by May 20th you can even get a discount.

But, please. This time, can you use your own credit card?

Sign up for New York here. (Saturday, May 19th)

Sign up for Dallas here. (Sunday, June 10th)