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Getting Personal -- My Breakup

Has anyone else gotten depressed after they've finished a long project?

I was really looking forward to finishing my book; after all, for 16 months, all I thought about was my book. And after spending all day writing it -- at night -- I dreamt about it.

The few times I was out with friends, I was annoying. I was recording ideas, and talking more into my iPhone than to the people I was with. And my social life wasn't the only thing that took a back seat. Everything was put off until my book was done.

And now -- it's finally done!

It's almost like I had an incredibly intense love affair that ended abruptly. Now that Book is gone -- I'm at a loss for what to do with myself. This past weekend, I hung pictures in my house, updated my printer drivers, cleaned out the garage, and alphabetized my DVD collection using a new iPhone app. None of these are things I'd normally spend much time doing... but I needed something to occupy my mind, since Book has left.

I miss Book. I miss our long nights together when we just clicked and the flow was good. Of course, there the down times where Book would wake me in the middle of the night, needing massive attention. There were those early mornings watching dawn break when I worried, "Did I truly understand Book? Would others appreciate what Book and I had done together?"

And of course, there were the nights of fighting where I walked out on Book, swearing, "I just can't handle you! You are too much! You overwhelm me and I want you out of here!"

And now Book has gone to another woman -- Daniela, my editor at St. Martin's Press. Fine, you deal with Book.

I could start a new project -- or even a new book -- but it's too soon to get involved again. I'd just be on the rebound. So instead I sit, mourning, and still pining away for the moments that Book and I had together.

But now -- this blog is at it's end -- which means -- it's time for me to clean the grout!

20 comments:

Anonymous said...

Judy,
I know exactly what you're talking about. After any project, I always walk around and wonder what to do next, what will occupy my mind as greatly as that project once did.

sukey said...

Loved that! You forgot to alphabetize your spices. sukey

snowboardbuddy said...

you could not have explainde it better.. I could not put into words what it feels like to finish a project.. its not happy anyway..lol
Heidi

Laverne Bissky said...

When my son was 12 he said he wanted to visit all 7 continents while his parents were still paying for it. Now that we are about to see our 6th continent I feel a little sad that the end of this little challenge that turned into a big dream is getting close to being achieved. Getting to Antarctica with a kid in a wheelchair will be a bit of an added challenge. But then what?

Unknown said...

Judy. I felt the same way when my book "Tim and Tim An American Comedy in Black and White" was completed so I started preparing for the book tour. When the book tour was over I said "How can I turn this book in to a movie" and immediately went to work on that project with meetings etc etc and now the book is going to become a movie so I've been working with the writers and we just finished the second draft and it looks good so I'm looking forward to production and then the premiere and then the Academy Awards and on and on and on. What I'm trying to say is "Start planning your book tour and DREAM BIG" lol Tom Dreesen

Anonymous said...

Someone wise said to me "always have something to look forward to."

becky said...

Its all in the journey isn't it? I've written two books that have never gotten finished because I unlike you never knew when and how to END the relationship!!

Justin James said...

Judy I am looking forward to your book. As a full time entertainer I am frustrated that I will miss your course this weekend in Vegas held only a few miles from my home, as I am on tour. So that said I have truly enjoyed the little tidbits you have published this last year landing in my inbox and hope to see far more in that new book of yours...

Comedy Hypnotist,
Justin James

Mr. Ed said...

You will be fine Judy now that your book is done. A poet friend of mine just finished his third poetry book and now he looks like he'sonly 75, He's 79. Cant wait to read your book!
Mr. ED

Art DiVittis said...

It's ok Judy, there will be another. it will start out small unexpectant. A chance encounter with a phrase, tat leads to a sentance and a paragraph. Before you know it you're into a full blown thome. Keep your wits my friend, don't fall for the first well turned phrase you see. Be extra careful of dangling participles and split infinitives--if you know what I mean. You know what I mean.

Paula said...

Judy- so glad you are not a selfish "lover" with BOOK and have decided to have an open relationship and let the rest of us enjoy the company of BOOK. LOL!! Can't wait!!
Miss ya!
Paula Faust

My name is Lance said...

Don't be sad because you and "Book" are eternally connected. You are "Book" and "Book" are you. Years from now when you are long gone "Book" will endure and every time someone turns it's pages your love and dedication to "Book" with waft out from between it's binding. One day "Book" will find itself on a shelf,well worn with several dog-eared pages reflecting on the time you two spent together, grateful to be a chapter in your life.

Ron Rigby said...

I agree with Tom....a book tour seems to be just the thing. I experience the same feeling but on a micro level. I do small shows and the build up for me is very stressful and exciting. Then the actual show is very exhilarating as many people know, then I wake up the next morning and say...now what? For a second there is relief that it's over and you were successful but that feeling seems very short lived.
I believe it was Neil Armstrong that struggled severely after going to the moon and back. Can you imagine your wife or husband asking you to run to 7/11 for some milk a week after you were swinging a golf club on the moon in front of the entire world?
Book tour....good idea!

Roger Breault said...

There is no finish line.

roger

Roger Breault said...

There is no finish line.

Michael J Herman said...

This is similar to the experiences I have on big projects. Whether it is producing a film, a live evrent, a manuscript, a screenplay, or whatever the medium, it's a part of us we express and expell taht lives inside and keeps us creative. When we birth it, we feel a loss. A loss of connection with the creative process. It's a catharsis and it's a loss. Until you see it become successful. Seeing the poster in the theater lobby, the title on the marquis, or the book face-out on the shelf, that is the time when we can take a deep sigh and say, "What? Why did you put that book back on the shelf? I wrote that, damn it! DFo you know how hard I slaved over those 214 pages? Give me that! You don't deserve to even read the spine. Come here Book. Come to Papa."

Wait a minute. I'm now in your neurosis.

Anyway, speaking in third person about your book is fine as long as you do not start referring to Book as "we".

Marty D... said...

"Getting Personal -- My Breakup"
gosh darn, i thought i was going to read about the juicy end of a personal love affair! the "book", fear not! the book will be back for rewrites after Daniela completes her work. i look forward to reading and enjoying the end product.

Shelley Goldbeck said...

Well said! Perhaps this is why I never seem to finish those big projects!

Gwyn Nichols said...

Oh, Judy, this is not a breakup. It's only a separate vacation. You are now officially engaged to Book. Daniela will help you with the wedding plans, and Book will be fitted for his wardrobe, while you fuss with his haircut until Daniela orders you to stop, and meanwhile, you will be busy inviting everyone to the launch date. Then you'll go off together, into the sunset, talking about Book and almost nothing but Book, until your Book children and grandchildren come along and turn out to be even cuter.

stiveholle said...

My break up is my personal issue. When I break down my relationship my friends are laugh at me. Then I was shocked. That was my personal issue, nobody can laugh at me.
handling a break up