Making Dreams Come True for Comics and Speakers since 1984
  Judy Carter's Comedy Workshops  

The Right Way to Write; Getting Published and Getting Paid! FREE Teleseminar

Ok, here's the truth.  When I was writing my first book, "Stand-Up Comedy: The Book," (Random House) I’d sort of hit bottom.  I’d quit doing comedy clubs, and I had a typing job for $10/hour. I sent the first three chapters of my book to 59 agents and I was rejected by ALL of them.

Here’s what they had to say:
"Nobody wants to learn standup comedy..."
"You can't teach comedy in a book..." 
"Why don't you write a how to book about something useful… like fly fishing?"

Real agents.  Real comments.  Really depressing.

Cut to:

I just had my fourth book published this past month, titled, "The Message of You" (St. Martin's Press).

In the past year, I’ve been invited to speak all over the world (Russia, Sweden, etc.) as an expert, meaning I’ve been getting paid to travel and I get treated like a celebrity.

(One Swedish newspaper even called me their “Comedy Prophet.”  Wow – I feel almost like Moses -- only funnier.)

Still, I have those moments where my inner critic tells me I’m worthless, and don’t know anything.  I try to battle it by asking myself what I do know, and, it occurred to me that I definitely DO know something about how to get a book written -- and published.

Last month, I was talking to my literary agent, Penny Nelson, who said that she went to a "How to Get Your Book Published" workshop and couldn't believe all the misinformation that was given.  She was wishing that someone would give aspiring writers the right information, because it would make her job – and theirs – a lot easier.

So... Penny and I, along with self-publishing guru Dan Poynter, are going to give you the real information about publishing in a teleseminar on Tuesday, April 9th.  And how much is this going to cost you?

Ah... let me think... nothing! That's right.  Zip.  Zero.  Zilch.

So, if you ever thought you ‘d like to write a book, or you’re having a hard time getting a book you've already written noticed -- join us to hear the real truth about the publishing industry and where you fit in.

DATE:             Tuesday, April 9, 2013
TIME:              5:30 PM to 6:30 PM (PDT)
PRICE:            FREE


Dave said...

Amazing. I'm really forward to this. Thank you so much, Judy.

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Stephen McCutchan said...

Since you questioned Moses sense of humor, thought you might like to hear a conversation between Moses and God.

As we listen in on the conversation, Moses is about to conclude forty days of conversation with “I Am” and receive the two tablets with the commandments on them.

God: Moses, I realize that I have said quite a few things these past forty days.

Moses: You can say that again.

God: What?

Moses: Oh, nothing, I Am, I am really fascinated with all you have to say. I am sure the people are really going to appreciate your giving them all these rules to live by.

God: Moses, you are not being sarcastic, are you?

Moses: I Am, I am not. I mean, I am not, I Am. Oh, you know what I mean. One thing worries me, though.

God: You need not worry, Moses. “If you obey all these things I have commanded you, lo, I will be with you always.”

Moses: That’s what worries me.

God: What’s that?

Moses: Oh, I didn’t mean it that way. I mean you have said a lot of things these past forty days, what if I forget some of them.

God: I am sure you will do fine. Just to help you out I have prepared a summary statement of my position on these two stone tablets.

Moses: Gee, thanks a lot. You’re sure something lighter like papyrus would not serve just as well.

God: No Moses.

Moses: Well, OK. Just thought I would ask. It is a long way down the mountainside.

God: I will be with you.

Moses: Yeah, I know, but sometimes your invisible presence does not seem to carry its share of the load.

God: What do you mean by that?

Moses: O nothing, I . . .

God: Moses!

Moses: What, I Am?

God: Look at what YOUR people are doing?

Moses: Uh, I Am, it is a long way down the mountain and I am not able to see as far as you are, I Am.

God: Oh, yeah, sorry about that.

Moses: Besides, what is this MY PEOPLE bit. A little while ago, they were YOUR PEOPLE. Don’t forget, I was quite happy tending my sheep in the desert. It was your idea to bring them out of Egypt.

God: Moses, when they obey they are MY people. When they disobey, they are YOUR PEOPLE and right now they are DISOBEYING.

Moses: I am not sure I like those terms but I am not sure I have any choice. Oh well,let me have the worst. What are they doing?

God: They are building a GOLDEN CALF and playing ribald games.

Moses: Oh God!

God: What’s that?

Moses: Nothing, it is just an expression. It is a little easier than saying “Oh, I Am.”

God: I see.

Moses: Listen, I Am, maybe they are just making a gift for you.

God: It is very clearly stated right here in Paragraph II. Thou shalt not make unto: thyself any graven images.

Moses: Well, maybe they misunderstood. You know people don’t speak King James Hebrew anymore.

God: Do not make excuses for them, Moses. Your people are a stiff necked people. “Now therefore, let me alone that my wrath may burn hot against them and I may consume them.”

Moses: Listen I Am, I do not think that is a very good idea.

God: Why not?

Moses: Well, it is not very good P.R., that’s all.

God: P.R.?

Moses: Sure. You have got to think to the Egyptian press. I can just see the headlines now. “RADICAL GOD LOSES TEMPER—Consumes people with hot wrath.” Who’s going to want to join a community with a God like that?

God: I see what you mean.

Moses: Besides you know how that Egyptian liberal press is. They are going to dig up all the dirt they can.

God: Dirt?

Moses: Sure. You can just bet that some rabble rouser will do an in-depth story pointing out how you had made all those promises to Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob and then in a fit of temper broke your promise and wiped them all out.

God: You’re right, Moses, it was not such a good idea. Look, I have got a better idea. Why don’t you do down and grind that golden calf into fine dust and put it in water and make everyone drink it. That ought to teach them a lesson.

Moses: OK. Oh, and thanks for the stone tablets. I have just thought of a great use for them. It is rather dramatic but I think it will get their attention. I hope you have some replacements after I bust them over their heads.

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Anonymous said...

Judy, thank you for sharing open and honestly. You're an inspiration that let's me know that the only way out is through. You told my story. Where I was, what assistance I searched for answers and cures, and where I am now. Wondering if I'm to old and out of touch to make it. That's just FEAR - False Evidence Appearing Real. I need to have hope and faith and take action one day, even one moment at a time, and breathe. More will be revealed, and I look forward to seeing where I am on the other side of reading your current book. The Comedy bible helped me with comedy immensely. Now, I pray that my mess transformed, will change my life and open doors which up until this time have been closed. I know all it takes is willingness, action and reaching out to other like minded people for support. Thank you again, Q.