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Hacking is Easy, Comedy is Hard



I'm being blackmailed by a standup comic/hacker. No joke. This story is so weird, that I couldn't make it up.

I got an email today from "Maria" who identifies herself as a standup comic/hacker. This person has hacked into my emails and website, drew a mustache on my bio picture and made demands that I send my "How to Be Funny" products  or "Maria" will express the full extent of her hacking abilities and destroy my sites.

Wow.  This is the first time I've been threatened to make someone funny.  I know these are dire times -- but are other professions getting these sorts of threats?

"Give me a face lift Mr. Surgeon -- or I make your Facebook page look like a before picture."

The first thing I noticed is just how unfunny the email was.  (Not even an attempt at humor; why not some ironic alliteration like "Humor Hacker?")

The email ended with a smiley face emoticon.  Seriously - a smiley face?  How hack is that?
Even if I did send my materials -- what kind of comic would he/she be?  You aren't going to do well with an audience when you start with, "Laugh or I will steal your identity."

Being a hack is easy.  If you take it seriously -- comedy is hard.  The message is -- websites are replaceable, but nobody can hack my sense of humor. 

So, thank you "Maria," for giving me a great story.

Dear Judy Carter

I'm Maria, I have two job, I'm stand-up comedian and hacker... I wanna you help me to improve my stand-up performance and I'll help you to improve your website.
So please send me your products free. I wanna ebook in pdf format of "The Comedy Bible","Standup Comedy: The Book" and "The Message of You" also 3 DVD of "Comedy Career in a Box".
and after that I help you in yourwebsite betterment... I think this is a good aggrement ... If you don't reply to my email untill 3 day I'll Start to proof my abilities

to proof my claim , I draw mustache for Judy carter photo at this page : judycarter.com/biography.php

Sorry for that but I'll make everything correct as I recieve your email :)

with best regards
Maria
 

15 comments:

Coty said...

Wow! That is incredulous and ridiculous. Sorry you're having to deal with that.
But that certainly is a testament to how good you are at what you do. : )
If you're going to steal, why not steal from one of the best. : )

Anonymous said...

I went to http://judycarter.com/biography.php and there is no mustache there.

Here is where you can report her to the Federal Communications Commission:

http://www.fcc.gov/guides/spam-unwanted-text-messages-and-email

Ask them if they can take a picture of her face when she opens up the email saying that she's under arrest, because THAT would be really funny!

Diego said...

Before trying to improve her commedy, she should try to improve her English...

Mr. Ed the person... said...

Judy my dear, At least she admits she's a hack! Give in to her demands in order to try and catch her. Either way it will be good comedy material. your sense of humor is yours and no one can blackmail that!

Gerry said...

No way! That is crazy. And funny stuff. Thanks Judy.

Judy Carter said...

Your comments made me laugh which is something I really need with all of this stress!!! Judy

Anonymous said...

Funniest I Have heard in eons! Do you Have translated versions? If not she couldnt understand.

Anonymous said...

If there is no "Maria," and this is a fictional story, it would be a clever way to promote your books. As a former investigator who reads between the lines, the letter from the hacker didn't ring true to me.

Laura Breaux said...

Hey, she may be a hacker, but at least she's into self-improvement. She's also more interesting than your other hacker, the one that uses your information to sell obscure products.

Valerie Hansen said...

I know that criminal hack/ hacker/ Big Mac Attack snacker! She threatened me once in a dark alley --- stuck a rubber chicken into my back and demanded that I give her all my old airline food jokes. She runs the website “Funny or DIE WITH A MUSTACHE!”

Dr. Audrey Levy said...

I concur with Ms. Dodo Head is stealing from the best. And speaking of stealing makes me think of Milton Berle one of the stellar thieves of jokes - if you have not yet seen the documentary 'When Comedy Went to School,' try to catch it. I saw it today and thought it was excellent! Mr. Berle, Sid Caesar, Mel Brooks, Buddy Hackett, Woody Allen, Carl Reiner, Robert Klein, Dick Gregory, and many more from the Catskills days - wonderful footage and interviews!

Anonymous said...

I think you should hire a White Hat (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/White_hat_(computer_security)) hacker to take care of this "Maria" (almost certain to be a man, or a boy more likely) problem. Instead of giving stuff to "Maria" (who's unlikely to stop harassing you even if he gets your stuff), offer it to the White Hat instead. The whole scenario would make for good material, but you also want to make sure you plug up the security flaws on your site, ASAP. "Maria" sounds like an example of a "script kiddie". I don't think you'll need top-notch security talent to squelch his threats, but if "Maria" can do it, so can a million other bored script kiddies.

Anonymous said...

LMAO Judy you hve access to actually find a person who is an even better hacker...employ them and then get on her sites and tell people she has a communicable disease or she faked her IQ scores...or even that she is really a he with bad socially skills!

www.ElaineWilliamsLive.com said...

Wow! I have had some cyber bullies before, but that email was the most pathetic, horrific, and still pretty funny bc it is so sad. Thanks for sharing it though, because it helps me keep things in perpsective. And thank God for Karma!
Sending you love while you plan for your big event,
Elaine

www.ElaineWilliamsLive.com said...

Wow! I have had some cyber bullies before, but that email was the most pathetic, horrific, and still pretty funny bc it is so sad. Thanks for sharing it though, because it helps me keep things in perpsective. And thank God for Karma!
Sending you love while you plan for your big event,
Elaine