Standup Comedy Tips from Judy Carter

Sawing Through Writer’s Block

2012-02-01T10:37:00.000-08:00

Anyone else finding it’s hard to come up with new material for yourself?

If you find yourself still doing references to Monica Lewinsky's stained blue dress, MC Hammer's bankruptcy, and Bob Dole doing E.D. ads, you might want to add some new life into your old act.

I too have blocks coming up with new comedy material. It’s weird how I can dish out punch lines for my students, yet I don’t seem to find the time to work on my own act. I’m considering myself lucky that Newt Gingrich is back in the news so my 1992 Speaker of the House jokes can have a second life. (Now if only Dan Quayle would join the Republican primaries, I’d look prolific.)

I’m not sure why I get stuck. Maybe it’s just laziness -- or maybe it’s that I put my commitment to others ahead of my own writing needs. I know that whenever I’m hired to write material for someone else, I make time-specific dates, hold laser-like focus on them for hours, and show up stone cold sober.

I’m guessing I’m not the only person with this issue, so I want to ask all the co-dependent writers out there -- is it possible to have this same level of commitment to our OWN work? Why can’t we create the same level of focus and urgency for ourselves - and use that concentration to break through the mental logjams?

I’ve pondered that question -- and I’ve come up with five quick tips for speakers and comics to get past your writer’s block and infuse your presentation with shiny new bits:

1.   Get yourself a comedy or a speaking buddy to jam material with. Your ideas need to be run by someone else before they go public. Writing new material for ourselves is next to impossible without involving others. I wouldn’t be able to write this blog once a week if I didn’t have an assistant who zaps me with a cattle prod every Monday to deliver it. I couldn’t write a book without an editor -- and a deadline. Writing might look solitary, but most of us work in teams. So -- go post on social.comedyworkshops.com to find a buddy.
2.   Get yourself a gig. A gig or a speech looming on your calendar will be the motivation you need to get yourself in gear.
3.   Commit to doing at least three new minutes every time you perform. Feeling insecure about that? Then “hammock” your new material in between two proven bits to give you confidence -- and something you can compare the audience response for the new material against.
4.   Write 10 minutes every morning without judging or editing. Just write, and don’t look at it at all until you get together with your comedy buddy. If you judge what you write as you’re trying to create, it will inhibit you. You can circumvent that my covering up your computer screen while you type. Once you’re with your comedy buddy, find the gems among the raw material, and use some of the formulas in “The Comedy Bible” to polish it or create more new content based on your ideas.
5.   If you’re really stuck, just write a joke right now using the “List of Three” formula. (1. Subtle thing, 2. Subtle thing, 3. HUGE and OBVIOUS thing.)

Example: There are three subtle clues that your relationship is over:
1. You’re not communicating...
2. You’re not getting love notes anymore... and
3. WRITE THE JOKE HERE.

Let me read your jokes. Post them in the blog comments.

-Judy Carter

Author of The Comedy Bible, Motivational-Humorist, and Comedy Coach

Turning Problems into Punchlines

2012-01-25T10:20:00.001-08:00

If you are a funny person on my list and reading this, there’s a high probability that you had a lousy childhood. Isn’t that why we are funny? I think so. All the “normal” people who take my comedy workshops, the ones that are from loving families, where people “talk” things out rather than throw stuff-- just aren’t that funny.

Don’t most of us funny people sharpen our wit on the edges of our troubled past? We comics don’t need a study to tell us that humor helps get through tough times. That’s the transformational service we provide to audiences as well as ourselves - turning problems into punch lines. Larry David turned his divorce into an entire season of “Curb Your Enthusiasm.” What a great way to work out pain and anxiety by getting laughs, not to mention making gobs of money on your misery. But, are there life events that are too high on the Richter scale of pain to be funny?

A well-known belief is that, “comedy is tragedy plus time.” I disagree. Haven’t we’ve all seen a speaker or a comic talk about something that is still raw and it just feels awkward?

Very often in a speaking workshop, a female speaker will cry while telling her story. But, isn’t the purpose of a heartfelt story is to move an audience, not the speaker? Perhaps, the pain fallout from a tragedy needs to dull a bit before we have the distance to joke about it. So, it takes more than time to have a comedy perspective on a personal tragedy - it first takes some first aid. Then once you’ve built up that protective scab, then... let the jokes rip.

Laughing at a problem gives you a feeling of having some power over your troubles. When you can laugh at a problem, it decreases it in size. Besides, you’ll have a lot more fun being a comedy queen than a drama queen.

-Judy Carter

Author of The Comedy Bible, Motivational-Humorist, and Comedy Coach

How to Get Corporate Comedy Gigs by Finding the Message of You

2012-01-18T13:44:00.000-08:00

I'm still high from the workshop I led on Sunday in Hollywood, "How to Get Corporate Comedy Gigs by Speaking the Message of You." It's not on the kind of high that lands you in rehab. This is the kind of high that comes from feeling that you've made a difference in other people's lives. What a joy it was to watch my peeps' Eureka moments when they discovered that there was a message in their life journey that was worth a lot to others. So many people were thrilled to learn about the opportunities for comics in the speaking market. Doing longer sets for appreciative audiences, actually getting paid... and not just "gas money and drink tickets" -- what's not to like?

In Sunday's workshop, people learned that corporate America is humor-impaired and desperately needs funny speakers. For the past ten years I have been coaching speakers on how to make their content funny. In February I am finally launching classes both in person and on-line to help funny people turn their life journey into a bookable topic for corporate gigs. Information on my classes is here.

I want all of you funny people reading my blogs to have the audio of this workshop, so I'm offering it for FREE. Please use this link to download a MP3 file where you can begin your own journey to find The Message of You.

-Judy Carter

Author of The Comedy Bible, Motivational-Humorist, and Comedy Coach

Turning "The Message of You" Into a Money-Making Career

2012-01-09T15:16:00.001-08:00

My FREE workshop this Sunday can change the direction of your career. No joke, as I'm going to show you how to uncover The Message of You and turn it into a money-making career.

How do I know this is possible? Because I've been doing it. For the past 10 years, I have been flown all over the world by Fortune 500 companies to speak. What is speaking? It's comedy with a message.

How do you find The Message of You? Well, guess what? The message of you already exists. It's underneath the jokes you tell, the advice you give to your friends; It's in the lessons you teach your children and it's in the stories you tell your friends. The good news is, on Sunday, not only can you discover The Message of You, but you will also learn how to transform it into a speech that will inspire audiences and launch your corporate comedy career.

On Sunday, whether you are coming to the workshop or watching via podcast, you will discover that your life has meaning and that meaning is worth a lot more than you can ever imagine.

Please come as corporate America is humor impaired and needs YOU.

NEW LOCATION!!!

Sunday, January 15th at in West Hollywood at the:

Hudson Theater

6539 Santa Monica Blvd

Los Angeles, CA 90038
Noon-2 pm.
Not in L.A.? Sign up for the FREE podcast. Register

here.

-Judy Carter

Author of The Comedy Bible, Motivational-Humorist, and Comedy Coach

How to Break into Corporate Comedy

2012-01-05T09:07:00.001-08:00

** Free 2 hour workshop on Sunday, Jan 15th -- sign up here**

Comics are constantly asking me,"How can I make a living doing comedy?"

Learn a lesson from Jon Stewart, Jay Leno and Conan - do corporates as that's had most comics make their living. In Seinfeld's documentary, "The Comedian," Leno admits that he doesn't spend a dime of his "Tonight Show" money, but lives on the money he makes from doing corporates. I guess when your corporate fee is $160,000 a gig, that's not too hard to make ends meet.

I know many of you are thinking, "But, I'm not famous. I just want to find a way to quit waiting tables and do comedy full time."

Here is the thing - meeting planners are desperate for funny speakers who aren't necessarily famous, who will work for $5K to $10 range and can wake up an 8am meeting with their humor and a great message.

I got into the corporate comedy market in the 90s when after a run of headlining comedy clubs, I started to see clubs close, audiences dwindle, and more and more new comics entering the field. I saw the writing on the wall as it was hard to remain a "young, up and coming comic," when I was turning 40.

At that time I got a corporate gig for the Nat'l Assoc. of Fruits and Vegetables where they just wanted me to "talk" about comedy. I created kind of a mash-up from my experiences of teaching comedy and added a few bits from my act. It was very uneven and awkward, but the audience seemed to enjoy it. Even though I had to share the stage with a dancing avocado, nobody threw anything at my head and at the end of the talk, they handed me a big check. After it was over, all I could think was, "Speaking for a
living rocks! How do I do this full time?"

I started researching the speaking business and found there were a lot more speaking gigs available than comedy gigs. There were also a lot of perks. Speakers were paid more than comics, they had a full hour to perform in front of sober and appreciative audiences and best of all, as a speaker, I didn't have to be the "hot, new, up and coming young talent" forever. In fact, in the speaking profession, experience, age and wisdom were actually considered assets and not liabilities. Whoo-Hoo!

I wanted to learn more about it, so I joined the National Speakers Association -- where I met comics I never heard of who were making six figures for one gig. And here's the weird thing -- many of these successful speakers had never been on "Conan," nor were they household names. But they all had something I didn't. They had a message.

It took me years to find the "Message of Me" but once I did and combined it with my standup act, I was able to buy and build my dream house, and on top of it, not only make people laugh, but make a difference.

Let me show you how you can fit into this market. Let me help you find the "Message of You." It's right there in the stories you tell your kids, underneath the jokes you write, and the work you do.

If any of this resonates with you, please join me for a FREE ONE-TIME ONLY workshop I'm giving on Sunday, Sunday, Jan 15th, the Jon Lovitz Comedy Club.

Not in LA? Sign up for the podcast!

I wish you a Happy New Year -- and hope you want to make this the last year you have to say, "May I take your order please?"

Holiday App Addiction

2011-12-27T19:58:00.000-08:00

By Judy Carter

This New Year's Resolution includes something else I have to give up besides sugar, gluten, and dairy -- Iphone apps. Yes, I'm addicted to iPhone apps.

It's gotten so bad that I'm up to three A.M., jonesing for my hit of the next new app.

"Just one more...I promise this'll be the last one. I know the app that turns my iPhone into a scanner will give me the rush I want. It downloads directly to Dropbox ... unlike the three other scanner apps I bought this week."

Looking over the 15.5 gigs of apps I've purchased that made me have to buy the new iPhone 4s, I see I have a problem.

It seems obvious that I need the Walk n Type app that would display what's going on in front of me because, after all, with so many apps, I'm going to be typing pretty much all the time. But -- but I have to walk around the office and walk the dogs at some point, and typing and walking at the same time IS dangerous. And, there's also the photo app that I absolutely have to have because it wirelessly transfers photos from my computer to my iPad, because I'm going to be so busy using all my apps I just don't have the time to hook up a cable.

Maybe I could wean myself off a few apps I'm not using as much now. The pimple popper app I bought a while back seemed like it would be fun at parties. Now I know why I don't get invited to parties. Maybe I could live without that one.

The Couch to 5k app isn't working for me. (So far I've made it couch to refrigerator.) But Scanner911 Police Radio Pro I can't let go of, because I never know if in my free time I'll want to listen in on a report about a purse stolen in Big Bear Lake, California.

I am pretty proud of being able to delete the app for Angry Birds. That's like throwing away your crack pipe. But maybe it's because I replaced it with Angry Birds in HD as well as in Rio?

Maybe my addiction is just another way to procrastinate from writing my book, "The Speaker's Bible." Hey, anyone know if there's a book app for that?

Please pass on this blog to others who might enjoy it and feel free to post it on your website.
Judy Carter

Motivational Humorist, Comedy Coach, Author and App Addict

Have Yourself a Jewish Little Christmas

2011-12-20T15:46:00.000-08:00

By Judy Carter

Barbara Streisand, Barry Manilow and Bette Midler all have Christmas albums! What's up with this trend of us Jews putting out Christmas albums? Anyone else find it weird to hear Streisand sing, "Our King has cometh, da, da, da, da?"

Oy, oy, oy, yo!

Let's face it, you don't see Brittany Spears putting out a Hanukah album, "Spin little dreidel spin!" 50 Cents is not singing, "Go down you mother f**ker Moses, go down." Hanukah is so overlooked that as I write this, MS Word doesn't even see "dreidel" as a real word. Now what's up with that?

Judy's Jewish Tree

Jewish singers who put out Christmas albums could be accused of exploiting the holiday for their own gain. But has anyone else noticed that exploiting another culture for your own gain is also a trend this political season? GOP presidential candidate, and consummate goy, Michele Bachmann has inserted Yiddish into her speech? At least Streisand got the words to "Drummer Boy" right. Buchman pronounced "chutzpah" CHOOT-spa when discussing President Obama's audacity. Watching her on CNN, I didn't know if she was trying to speak Yiddish, or if she was sneezing. Maybe if this trend of adopting another culture for political gains continues, we might see the Democrats shore up the gay vote by saying, "Pass this bill, [snap, snap] girlfriend."

But maybe the need for Jews to be a part of Christmas comes from something other than commercial gain. Perhaps we Jews have Christmas envy. After all, all the Christian holidays are more upbeat than Jewish counterparts. The birth of Christ is just more cheery than the Hanukah celebration of the Macabee's triumph. It's just hard to get it up for that. Yes, on Hanukah we got the miracle of the oil lasting 8 days, but that seems as it was an add on - a miracle that was entered in post production to compete with the bright lights on a Christmas tree.

I doubt if Buchman or anyone has Hanukah envy as all the Christian holidays seem more upbeat than ours. Gentiles have Easter that includes chocolate bunnies, Peeps, and brightly colored Easter egg hunts. We Jews have Passover with ten plagues, unleavened bread, and the blood of the Pascal lamb. Boy, doesn't that sound fun?

But, the biggest advantage is that you gentiles know exactly what date your holidays are on. I'm jealous. I have to Google "Hanukah" to find out when it is.

Well, this year Hanukah is nearer to Christmas than to Halloween. So, I programmed Pandora to play a mash-up of Christmas and Klezmer music. And, if Streisand can put out a Christmas album, if Bachmann can speak in my Grandmother's tongue, then I can have a Christmas tree complete with lights, angels, dreidels, and of course a Jewish star on top.

Wishing all you funny people good holidays and when things go wrong, remember... it's material!

Motivational Humorist, Comedy Coach, and Author.-Judy Carter
judy@comedyworkshops.com

Pass on this blog to others who might enjoy it and feel free to post it on your website with my byline.

Performing Tips: Going From Free to Fee

2011-12-14T10:07:00.001-08:00

When I'm talking with comics and speakers, the question I'm asked most frequently is, "How do I get paying gigs?"

One reason I moved from stand-up to speaking is that there are more paying speaking gigs that stand-up gigs. There is no such thing as a "Bringer" speaking gig. As a speaker, i get to do a one hour show to a large appreciative audience with a paycheck at the end - sweet.

To transition from stand-up to speaking, I did a lot of speaking for free. In a perfect world, at every free gig, there would people in the audience who make the decisions about booking speakers. But - even if not -- if your audience really likes your presentation, you now have a large number of people who have seen what you do first hand, and can give a word-of-mouth recommendation powerful enough to help you land paying gigs.

That's why, in my experience, when you work for free with a good marketing plan in place, free turns into fee.

Yesterday I was in San Francisco speaking for a major pharmaceutical company. It was my 12th gig for a pharmaceutical company, and all of those gigs stemmed from one free appearance.

When I first started speaking to the healthcare industry, I volunteered to do a free event for the wellness community. I titled my talk, "Humor is Healing."

Since it was a new, untested speech, it was rough, and it was sketchy. But --it still was good enough to have somebody from UCLA social work say the magic words: "How much would you charge to speak at my event?"

(Whoo-Hoo!)

That one lead snowballed, and since then I've done hundreds of hospital events, doctor's events, pharmaceutical company keynotes, women's community events sponsored by hospitals, patient events, and even a Michigan hospital's administrators event where I was flown in on a corporate jet to Mackinaw Island.

When you speak for free you give people the opportunity to see you, like you, and most importantly - refer you. People make most major decisions based on the recommendations of others, and that's why referrals have the power to turn a free gig into many paying gigs that can launch a speaking career.

Tips:

1.    When speaking for free, raffle something off to collect business cards. (When you have the business cards of attendees, you have addresses and emails for future follow-up.)

2.    Follow-up with the person who booked you and ask them for two things:

a.    A "happy letter" with positive feedback about your presentation to include in your marketing

b.    A referral to their national organization (which probably can afford to pay speakers.)

3.    Keep in touch with your clients and attendees by giving them tips to continue your message beyond your speech.

If a person in the audience is asked to recommend a great speaker a year from now, a helpful tip you gave that same person just last week in your email newsletter might land you the job.

Want to transition into the lucrative speaking market? I will be giving tips such as this, as well as how to find and hone your message at a FREE workshop at the Jon Lovitz Club on January 15th. Details here.

-Judy

Motivational Humorist, Comedy Coach, and Author.

Your Secrets are Funny

2011-12-07T11:05:00.001-08:00

Your secrets can be comedy gold. As a comedy coach, I've watched thousands of new comics ignore the personal, relevant topics that could get them laughs, and even a career, in favor of the hack routine of every other beginning comic - Viagra, BJs, Online dating. They're literally standing knee deep in gold nuggets of authentic material but grabbing at all the shiny plastic around them.

Last week I was coaching a talented comic, whose new material had a "heard it before." feel to it. When I questioned her about her life, she revealed that her parents are Holocaust survivors. I said, "That's your topic."

She was dead set against it, "I can't talk about that! Everyone will hate me."

Now, granted, the Holocaust is not known for generating a lot of yucks, but isn't that the challenge of comics and speakers - to transform tragedy into comedy? Anyone can get a cheap laugh off of an already-funny topic, but it takes skill and talent to find laughs where there are none. After all, it's not the topic that determines how many laughs you get; it's how skillfully and creatively you handle it. And when something serious IS a part of your life, as a comic or a speaker, you HAVE to include it. Sorry, but it's part of the job. Your secrets are funny. It's as simple as that. So share them or get off the stage.

Every gay comic went through this in the 80's, with the whole "I can't talk about being gay" thing. Now it's your turn to open up. Let's face it, we all have something to come out about. Omitting a topic that is a big part of your life (and secrets tend to be a big part) will create a disconnect between you and your audience, and between you and your career. Just ask comic, Samuel Comroe.

Samuel Comroe refused to talk about having Tourettes Syndrome for the first part of his career. But now this brave young comedian has come out about having this disorder, and he's turned the trials and tribulations of living with Tourettes into an unforgettable stand-up comedy act that has made him a hot ticket in the college market.

Honesty builds careers.

I got a call back from the comic I was coaching. She's decided that her story has to be told. "It's hard growing up with parents who are Holocaust survivors. As a kid, no matter what happens to you -- if you fall off your bike, if the teacher is mean to you, if you get kicked out of Brownies -- you can't get any sympathy because 'You haven't been to Auschwitz.' 'But mom, the Brownies wear brown shirts.'"

It's a start.

What secrets of yours are you keeping from your act? Post them here!

-Judy

Motivational Humorist, Comedy Coach, and Author.

Judy’s Birthday Blog

2011-11-30T10:15:00.001-08:00

Today is my birthday.

I'm sharing this with you, but not because I want to get a thousand e-cards (and please - no singing stripper telegram; it's awkward.)

The reason I'm sharing this very personal info is that, I -- usually not so vulnerable Judy -- have been filled with appreciation for all the people who are on this list, because so many of you have affected the course of my life in some positive way.

You might be a standup student who took my workshop years ago, my high school drama teacher, my publisher, my plumber, my speaker bureau, my pharmacist, or something else that defies description.

But however you might be described, I felt the need to reach out because this particular birthday is a landmark one. When my mother passed away, it was too soon, and very unexpected. And this birthday makes me older than my mother was when she died.

That's a very weird sensation. It's made me fully aware how short life can be, and that now, I'm living in the bonus round. That's filled me with deep appreciation for the time I've spent with you. (Well... most of you.)

We all live like we have an unlimited amount of time. But sadly -- we don't. Time is a gift that I'm suddenly all too aware of.

So, if you have any dreams --- do something about them now. Stop waiting. You don't have forever, and while that might seem a little scary -- if you choose to really start living - it's pretty damn exciting.

Judy

PS - This blog has no ads, and nothing to buy. Let's face it: you spent all your money on Black Friday. Give your wallet a rest.

Do Women Laugh More than Men?

2011-11-08T13:28:00.000-08:00

According to an article in News Medical, they do. They could have saved a few bucks on research if they had just asked some of us standup comics. We don't need a neurological study to know that women are easy - at least when it comes to making them laugh.

Last week I performed for 450 women in New Jersey. I always put something funny in my intro to test the audience. With the corporate crowd, my intro usually gets a small titter, but with this all-women's group, I got roaring laughter. I thought to myself, "Piece of cake!"

But, I got onstage, and my mic didn't work. With any other audience, this would have been a disaster. But with a woman's audience this just added to the fun, especially when I quipped, "Who else has problems with things this shape?" Huge laughs, and they kept on coming. Any comic doing an all-woman show will tell you the same thing - working for women is easy! You just have to take longer pauses so nobody chokes and they can wipe off their running mascara.

After years of doing corporate comedy, I've learned that women appreciate the subtleties of comedy material and will laugh at innuendos and character quirks. They have the patience to listen to a longer story that promises a good payoff. Men, on the other hand, seem to prefer quick, hard punch lines that keep on coming. When performing for a women's group, I actually get laughs on the setups. Men want you to get to the point of the joke as quickly as possible and not waste time describing characters or places. Why is this? Do men and women like their jokes the way they like their sex? Is it that women appreciate the build up to the laugh, and men just want to get there? Maybe that's why female comics performing for a women's audience is like lesbians having sex -- you just know exactly what to do.

If you are performing for, let's say, a group of male IT engineers, you might want to consider changing your set to connect.

Here are some tips:

1. Start with a self mocking joke. By consciously lowering your status, the guys will cut you slack. So I say, "You might be wondering why corporate hired a female stand-up comic to come talk to you, instead of someone who really knows what they're talking about... like a consultant." This gets me laughs and scores me points.

2. Speak in the audience's language. I make it obvious that I have researched what they do and acquainted myself with their verbiage and acronyms as you can see in my corporate video. They respect me because I did my homework and they like me because I make them feel special and important.

3. Make your own gender the butt of a joke. I do jokes about how irritating women can be. This makes it clear that I'm not just another woman, like their wife, pointing out all the male inadequacies. "Why do women have to do a complete survey of everyone at the table to find out what they want to eat? We're crazy!"

Using these three techniques, the men in the audience will finally uncross their arms and laugh.

-Judy

Trouble Getting Comedy Gigs? Reinvent Yourself

2011-11-03T12:13:00.000-07:00

Just back from NYC where I got lucky and got tixs to see "The Book of Mormon," the Broadway smash hit written by Trey Parker and Matt Stone of "South Park" fame. Hilarious! It got me thinking about all the many different career options there are for funny people -- after all, Trey started his career doing stand-up. But instead of just limiting himself to stand-up and ending up doing a bringer show in a comedy club, Trey switched gears a few times which led to him accepting the Tony Award for the Best Musical on Broadway

In fact, if you're talented at writing and performing comedy, you might want to think about exploring some other options too. Comedy clubs and TV aren't the only, nor even necessarily the best, comedy opportunities out there. We comics need to be just as creative in finding comedy gigs as we are in writing comedy material. You don't want to keep going forever with your same old and tired punch lines, right? Then why continue with same old career options.

Parker and Stone are just as creative at marketing themselves as they are at writing shows. They got their "South Park" series from making a Christmas card version of their little film school animation project. It went viral, before there even was an Internet. The rest, as they say, is history.

A stand-up student of mine, Tangela Ekhoff, got a piece written about her in "Women's Day Magazine." In her blog she reminded me of some good advice I once gave: "Years ago, when I trained under Judy Carter, she said, 'Decide if you want to be successful or famous. There are hundreds of successful comedians who work every day, and there are thousands who will struggle forever because they want to be famous.' It took almost ten years for this sage advice to really hit home with me." Tangela built up her career by being creative in pursuing gigs. She's performed in hundreds of churches, colleges, conferences, and nursing homes. Not so glamorous, perhaps, but she's a full-time working comic and getting a full page write up in a national magazine is none too shabby.

If you have the ability to write funny and be funny, then don't stop thinking out of the box when figuring out how to make money at it. Comedy careers include speaking; hosting award shows; voice-over acting; warming up TV audiences; writing for greeting card companies, t-shirt companies, and billboard designers; sitcom writing; writing tweets for celebrities; being a call-in character on early morning radio (That's how Larry the Cable Guy got his start); and even cruise ship entertaining.

So, don't get stuck in a "I want to be a famous stand-up comic and just do TV movies and comedy clubs" mindset. And the next time you get together with your comedy buddy, try jamming money-making career ideas as well as punch lines. That way, your comedy career won't end up as a joke.

-Judy

Comedy Tip: Don't Give Your Baby a Funny Name

2011-10-27T10:28:00.001-07:00

A friend of mine is having a baby and she is trying to pick out a name. It's so odd to see how haphazardly most parents make a decision that will affect their child for the rest of their lives - so I'm glad my friend is really putting some thought into it.

The name you pick will be the difference in whether your kid has friends -- or is the target of endless bullying. In my high school there was actually a kid named Harry Tush. (Using your kid's name as a practical joke is child abuse and needs to be stopped.)

A name has enormous power. It's a huge part of a first impression, so it shapes how someone is perceived throughout their life. And that perception might also shape what they become - and even how they look.

When you think of Brad, or Angelina, do you get a different mental picture than you do for Orville or Gladys? Of course you do. And why is it that EVERYBODY has that same mental picture ... and it's usually accurate?

It's because there is no escaping your name. It shapes who you become.

But here's the good news for future parents. Before picking that name, do a little research -- because there is a way to find out exactly what you child will look like in 40 years. Using this secret will help you pick a name that will help your kid be more likely to grow up to be a millionaire than a meth addict.

What's the secret? Google the faces that go with the name.

Go to Google Images and type in the name you are considering for your baby, and click "faces." Then, you can see just what a Felix or a Brittany might end up looking like.

You think I'm kidding? Brittany is most likely going to be a little too old of a stripper, who really shouldn't have given up her job as a checker at Ralph's. Felix is going to wear glasses and a bow tie. It isn't a lock that things will end this way - but the odds just aren't in Felix and Brittany's favor for a happy life.

So, I say to my friends who are expecting - search for the faces that go with the names you're considering. And for my comedy friends, be sure you choose a name that will be somebody who can TELL a joke - instead of being the punch line of one!

Judy

Turning Your Life Story Into a One-Person Show

2011-10-19T12:59:00.000-07:00

Five minutes into watching most one-person shows, most people in the audience have the same thought: "I should do my own one-person show."

Last week I got a call from a well-known, charismatic evangelist who had seen Billy Crystal's show, "700 Sundays." He wanted my help for a few months in putting together his own show. Naturally, he assumed it would be easy - because Crystal made it LOOK easy. But, it turned out to be a huge wake up call for him once we started really discussing the details. He realized just how much work would need to go into a show that would look as if he were, "just telling his story."

In last week's 90-minute teleseminar (available online here) on "Turning the Stories of Your Life into a One-Person Show" -- I had three terrific guests: Mark Travis, Racquel Lehrman and Tom Dreesen. They gave the listeners a reality check on what it takes to write, produce and perform a show based on your life story - and some great tips on how to raise cash to mount a production.

Still, even with great advice (and a great coach) -- don't be fooled into thinking the process is going to be easy. Pros such as Billy Crystal, Chris Rock, and Will Ferrell create an illusion that their life stories are just told as casually as if they were entertaining people at a dinner party. But what most civilians never get to see is the enormous about of work that goes into finding the underlying theme of a show, picking the right stories, finding the funny AND the drama, and creating a compelling journey that audiences will actually pay to see.

In our teleseminar, Mark Travis and I mostly talked about the creative process of selecting the stories that make up a show. To get started, he advises, "Start writing stories - any story. After you have written a lot of stories, there will be a theme that becomes apparent."

Interestingly, that's true whether you're writing what you had for breakfast this morning, or about your mother's death. There's almost a DNA of the meaning of your life's journey that somehow will just show up in all your stories. Mark and I talked about how often that theme is invisible to the person writing the story, since they have so much involvement with the details of each story that they tend to miss the bigger picture.

As a creative coach, often my job is to be a story "CSI" person for my client. Meaning, I'm looking for evidence leading to the broader theme of their show (or act) in their stories and bits.

Some people call that a "brand" or a "persona" -- but, whatever you choose to call it, it's always the small pieces that reveal the larger picture. When "CSI-ing" someone's stories, it's comforting to see that our life journeys have meaning, and it's amazing that the meaning of everything we do, and have done -- is so often invisible to us.

Judy

Steve Jobs - Lessons from a Great Speaker

2011-10-11T11:59:00.001-07:00

When Steve Jobs passed away, not only did we lose a visionary, but we lost a world class speaker as well. In fact, all of us who speak in front of others can learn a lot from the man who turned business keynote speeches into an art form. Not bad for a Techie.

Here are some of the things I learned from the former CEO of Apple:

1. Connect to the Audience - No one likes being lectured to, and Jobs had the ability to make a speech sound "un-speechy" He talked to his audiences, not at them, which often made his remarks sound off-the cuff. In fact, because he was so conversational and didn't use notes, many people were surprised to learn that he spent a great deal of time memorizing and rehearsing his speeches. That's the brilliance of a great speaker - keeping it conversational and making a well rehearsed speech look improvised.

2. No Podium, No Notes, No PowerPoint - In order to have a successful speech, a speaker has to connect with an audience. Jobs made sure he connected by usually not having anything between him and his audience. Instead of being hidden behind a podium, Jobs strolled the stage. He had no notes and made eye contact with people, not paper. Jobs used pictures to convey a mood, or a product, not mind-numbing Powerpoint slides filled with technical data.

3. Be Yourself Authentic Self Onstage - Jobs didn't wear the typical CEO suit. He was a "jeans and a turtleneck" kind of guy... and that's exactly what he always wore. Many speakers want to look exactly like the audience and dress in "business-casual" rather than finding their own "brand" which includes not only their content, but what they wear.

4. Tell Stories Rather than Facts - Although Jobs was a Techie and spoke to a high tech audience, his speeches were never a mechanical recitation of specs, data, and insider jargon. Rather, he emphasized real-life stories of how Apple products changed lives and he focussed on the stories of the customers who used their products.

5. Reveal Your Personal Life Struggles
In this era of reality shows where there are no personal secrets, even CEOs need to reveal the non-business side of themselves. As you will see in the linked video, Jobs draws stories from some of the most pivotal points in his his life -- his loves, losses and his struggle with cancer. He inspired audiences with not only his products, but with his life.

He will be missed. For those of you who have never seen Jobs in speak,, here are a few links to some videos.

Compellation video
Stanford 2007 Commencement speech - Urging graduates to pursue their dreams and see the opportunities in life's setbacks -- including death itself.

Judy

Making it Memorable: 7 Tips to Memorizing Your Speech or Set

2011-09-27T12:59:00.001-07:00

It's not so cool to have notes these days, since everybody wants to look like their words of wisdom and hilarious observations just fly off the top of their head. Reality shows have become popular because people like the illusion that whomever they're watching is showing who they really are, not just reading from a script. And those same viewers have come to expect more spontaneity from speakers and entertainers. But it's really hard to be spontaneous and in the moment -- to really connect with your audience -- if you're constantly glancing at some piece of paper to know what to say next.

When you have your act memorized so well that it's second nature, it frees you to make more eye contact, to read your audience better, and to notice subtleties about what's going on around. That kind of relaxed awareness helps you really connect, because instead of just reading - you're communicating.

A lot of comics have trouble memorizing a longer set, so here's seven tips:

1. Start with an outline. Write out your set list, and practice taking a quick look and then running through each joke (from setup to laugh).

2. Know what comes next. The hardest part in memorizing a long set isn't so much remembering the jokes, as knowing WHICH joke comes after the one you just finished. If you arrange items in a natural flow, and give code words that you can remember easily to each joke or chunk, it helps to navigate from joke to joke.

For example, my set list might be: Swedish Jokes, Political, Jewish, etc. Each code word reminds me of a chunk where I know the joke well. After I've broken it down into ten code words, I just have ten things to memorize, and I can find a natural association between them. (Swedish people can be political but few are Jewish. Two or three sentences like that are a lot easier to memorize than a few pages in a notebook!)

3. Talk it and walk it. Comedians stand up --- literally - partly because studies have shown the brain works faster and more efficiently when you're on your feet. So instead of reading jokes off of a computer screen, I find taking walks and practicing my routine out loud really helps. If you run through your routine out loud 20 times on a walk, you'll know it. (I like to have my Bluetooth headset in one ear so my neighbors don't think I have an imaginary friend.)

4. Have a backup. Even when you have your act memorized forwards and backwards, most of us will always have a little twinge of fear that we could forget what's next under the nervous pressure of being in front of a packed house - especially if a joke falls flat.

Having your list of code words as a trigger on an index card in your pocket, scrawled on your hand, or on the screen of your iPhone can make you relax a little and focus more on your audience. And if you DO have a lapse, think of a clever way to take a peek without tipping everyone off, or getting a laugh out of it when you do. ("Swedish, Political, Jewish, Wash left hand.")

5. Let it go. I always feel that if I forget something, then that just means I wasn't meant do it. Being on stage is a heightened experience, and you intuitively know what will and won't work.

Sometimes forcing things in the order you planned them is not the best flow, and you have to toss out the order you planned and live in the moment by pressing ahead. If you keep forgetting a joke ... it probably wasn't funny enough to be worth remembering.

6. Use your sense memory. Sometimes I plan to perform chunks of material on different portions of the stage. When I move to a different spot, it triggers my memory that this physical place is also the place in my act where I do a certain bit. My body helps my brain remember.

7. Don't sigh - breathe! Finally -- if you go blank, here's something that always works: Take a deep breath in and out without any words. This will relax you -- and your act will come back to you. I've never had this fail, and that extra oxygen might even supercharge your brain to riff out a few NEW jokes even better than what you planned!

-Judy

Are Comedy Formulas Hack?

2011-09-22T10:12:00.001-07:00

I'm going to teach comedy in Russia - a place not known for being hilarious. To make matters even tougher, I'm teaching the entire workshop through a translator. "Take my wife... please," might translate to "Be with my wife ... if it pleases you."

Judy in Red Square

Trying to figure out what's funny in another culture is a huge challenge. I know thatwriter/producer Phil Rosenthal was hired to bring "Everybody Loves Raymond" to Russia, and apparently the documentary on all the difficulties he faced is hilarious. You can rent it from Netflix here.

So, to avoid disaster, I decided to keep things simple, and I dusted off some of the comedy formulas from the early drafts of "The Comedy Bible." To test one out, I put this formula on my Facebook page:

"I'm half ____ and half ____ -- and that means _________."

To my surprise, many of the comments I got back were hilarious!

"I'm half Russian and half Checknyan and that means, I'm at war with myself."

"I'm half French and half Irish, so i'm fully alcoholic."

"You might know this, but I'm half French and half German, and that means either way, I apologize."

Are these jokes hack? (And does that really matter if it gets a laugh?)

All successful comics do use formulas, whether they do it consciously or unconsciously. I blogged before about Chris Rock studying the structure of the old-timers to improve his material.

The same principles apply for writing. Screenwriters who want to be "creative," and so reject any formula to writing screenplays are often called "waiters"- because formulas exist for a reason.

Charlie Kaufman [Being John Malkovich, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind] is considered by many to be the most innovative screenwriter in the business, but he still follows a traditional three-act structure that has been in place ever since humans started telling stories.

Certainly, in this inexact art of standup, we can all use some exercises to help us get started in writing our material -- since that blank page can be pretty scary. When you're trying to come up with six minutes of new material, standup exercises are no more hack than sit-ups are when building your six-pack.

Being successful in creating material is a combination of knowing the formulas, and having truly authentic premises with a unique point of view.

The formulas in my books on comedy ("The Comedy Bible" and "Standup Comedy: The Book") might lead you to authentic premises and (I hope) funny material. But the real art is to make the process invisible, like a magician who amazes you because what comes next isn't obvious. The formulas are like stitches that need to be removed as a final step. Use them to get past the blank page, but before you perform, take out the clichés like, "I'm half this and half that" or, "I know what you're thinking..." followed by the obvious something that's exactly opposite of what we would think from looking at you.

Replace those clichés with your own words, but keep the underlying idea intact. In other words, know the rules, practice the rules, and when you've mastered them, break them.

Let's face it... any formula that exercises your talent is worth using. It's better to spend some time building your comedy muscles -- than four hours playing "Angry Birds".

-Judy

Gefilte Fish Out of Water - Doing Comedy Internationally

2011-09-14T11:09:00.000-07:00

I found myself in Sweden, and all of a sudden I had a distinctive brand: the baffled American. It wasn't what I planned, but the situation chose it for me, since most of the reliable chunks I take for granted in my act had to be eliminated.

For starters, out went my Jewish material -- because there are not many Jewish people in Sweden. (They're not familiar with the Wailing Wall, Hanukah -- and certainly not matzo.)

Then, many other jokes had to be tossed because of references that just didn't translate. They don't have the SAT like we do, so no jokes about that. Acronyms don't work because the initials stand for something in English that doesn't match what they would say in Swedish. References to hot topics like gay marriage (the Swedish support it), capital punishment (they don't have it), and health care (they already have it) all don't get the reaction they would in the States.

And lastly-- going in the other direction, the things I thought I knew about their culture were all wrong. They actually do eat other things than meatballs, they aren't depressed all the time, and they don't buy all their furniture at IKEA. And, after a lot of wasted time looking for a smorgasbord (the word sounds Swedish, doesn't it?) -- I was told they only have those at Christmas.

(Important travel note: Swedes do NOT understand you if you try talking like the chef from "The Muppet Show"... even if you do it well.)

But even with the cultural difficulties, the comedy scene in Sweden is anything but depressing. Clubs there are all filled with audiences ready to laugh. In Stockholm, you can go to plenty of open mics -- and they've never even heard of bringer shows. Overall, it's like standup used to be in America 25 years ago, where the comics are just developing a point a view, there are plenty of performance opportunities, and audiences are flooding the comedy clubs, hungry to see live comedy.

There are also some comedy festivals where you can be seen. One in each of the towns of Malmö, Lund and Stockholm.

There also seems to be a very positive environment for female comics. One woman who attended my workshop, Babben Larrson, is a 50 plus comedian who's had her own TV show and performs in clubs, does corporates, and has a one person show. Another, Cecilia von Strokirch, is a 30 year old librarian turned comic who performs all over Sweden. She even landed corporate sponsorship from a diet company, since she does a lot of material about weight loss. (There's LOTS of opportunity in Sweden.)

And lastly -- if you like the money you can make from corporate gigs, but miss the uncensored freedom of working clubs, in Sweden, you can have both!

"New Zealand" comic Al Pitcher

At Stockholm's main comedy club, Norra Brunn, I performed along with co-headlining Al Pitcher. He's originally from New Zealand, but he knocked around England for 5 years, and, after finding that market flooded, came over to Sweden to work corporate gigs and comedy clubs. What he was pleasantly surprised to find out is that you can say whatever you want in Sweden - even in a corporate gig! There's no censorship. None.

I did a radio show and we used every curse word in the book - on the air! ("Really, you can say f*#% at a corporate gig?" "Absolutely!")

That's something I could get used to! But -- now I'm off to Russia. I might need to remember to watch what I say there --- or I could get in a lot of f*#%ing trouble. (Time to chew some Orbit gum!)

-Judy

Who Does Your Time Belong To?

2011-09-07T10:22:00.001-07:00

This year I ended my recurring eight-week stand-up classes that I've taught for forever -- even though they were extremely successful and highly profitable. Most of my friends thought I was crazy to do this, especially in this economy.

But, I made the decision anyway because of something more important that all baby boomers know: time is finite.

If you don't know that, you're either in severe denial, or you're under 30 and don't realize yet that wasted time is lost forever. Without a doubt, our most precious commodity is our time. And what we do with it is our ultimate act of creativity.

So, you have two choices:

You can be a "time whore" -- giving away your most precious commodity to anybody who will buy a piece of it.

Or -- you can be strategic and creative, and use your time to create the projects, career, and life you really want to have.

It's all about making a simple choice. Do you want your time to belong to someone else ... or to you?

When I made the choice to stop teaching my eight-week workshops, it created a vacuum of opportunity. Of course I was scared, because I was cutting off a steady income stream. But, fear is a great motivator; it really lit a fire under me to do things I'd wanted to do, but never had enough time to accomplish.

I wrote a new book proposal. I started teaching standup and speaking in other cities. And I wrote a new speech based on my process called, "Getting What You Want Before You Forget What It Is."

The results? I'm doing workshop in places that I've always wanted to visit, like Sweden and Russia. I'm punching up speeches for extremely interesting people, like WWE wrestlers, bio-pharmacists, and NASA scientists. And, yesterday, I signed a book deal for "The Speaker's Bible" with St. Martin's Press.

So what do you need to give up to create room for the things that you really love? Do you need reclaim your time by ending a relationship with a person, by changing jobs, or by going cold turkey on your three-hour-a-day Facebook addiction?

Make some choices. It's your time -- do something with it.

"If you always do what you've always done - you'll get what you've always have gotten."

Want something different? Do something different.

-Judy

How to Build Comedy Material from Scratch

2011-08-31T10:38:00.000-07:00

Whether you're just starting stand-up, or you've had your special on Comedy Central, when developing new material, we're all reduced to beginner rank.

In the past two weeks, I've been using open mikes to develop a brand new 10-minute set. I found myself onstage, with no confidence, bad timing, and the humiliation of delivering a few punch lines to absolute silence.So, I changed my opening to start with these words: "I'm the author of The Comedy Bible, and I'm sure after seeing my act, you're gonna say, 'Boy, she's really a good... writer.'"

But, like they say in 12-step recovery programs, if you keep coming back and follow the program -- it works. By my fourth open mic, some of the material started to really take shape and get some big laughs.

I know I'm not alone in this experience - and you aren't either.

We all go through the same process with new material, and the methods I used to take some raw ideas and polish them might help as you try to turn your rough ideas into gems.

So - here's some tips on developing new material:

1. Record your ideas as they come to you.

Funny ideas don't just magically appear when you sit down to write them.Ideas are your master -- and you are their bitch. They'll show up when they feel like it, and you'd better jump to it and record them when they happen.

With an iPhone, this is easy; just talk and record. But for me, the hard part's transcribing all the recordings. (280 at last count.) If you're like me and can't stand to listen to your own voice, get someone else to transcribe your audio rantings for you. Speechpad is cheap and gets the job done fast.

2. Stand-up is like exercise.

Just because you got your body in shape two years ago doesn't mean it'll stay in shape. You've got to work it every day. And that means ALWAYS setting a goal for yourself to keep improving.

Create a specific goal for each performance, whether it's trying out some new material, working the crowd, or just making it through a set without being set on fire.

3. Get yourself a posse.

Doing stand-up alone is a one-way ticket to hell. Depending on other comics you barely know to give you support is like asking a suicide bomber for a hug. You probably won't get it, and it may not turn out well even if you do.

Once a week I get together with my comedy buddy to jam new material, and then we do the open mikes together. That way, we help each other tweak, change, or throw out material. And we each have a better sense of what will (or won't) work for the other after seeing their material tried in front of an actual audience. Click here to get a comedy buddy.

4. After trying new material on stage, write it out verbatim.

Make sure you record your set at every open mike, and take the time later to transcribe it precisely. Seeing your material in black and white will help you take out unnecessary words on the way to the laugh. And very often, you'll find that you unintentionally said something just a tiny bit differently than last time - but the very small difference in wording made all the difference in getting a huge laugh.

5. Know where the laughs are (or where they should be).

When you deliver your material, especially the new stuff, have the guts to punch every joke and hold for the laugh. That takes balls, or ovaries, or whatever you have that gives you courage. If a joke doesn't work, there's an awkward silence when you pause. It's scary, but it's the only way you'll know if the joke bombed - or if you just talked through what could have been a laugh because you were nervous.

6. Breathe.

We do it every day, but for some reason it's easy to forget when you're holding a microphone. A full inhale and exhale without words helps separate your jokes, improves your timing, and gives you the appearance of confidence.(If you look like you think your stuff is funny, it's a little easier to convince the audience.)

-Judy

Stop Waiting for Fame - Go Out and Get it

2011-08-23T19:49:00.000-07:00

OK, you've read my book, The Comedy Bible, and you probably have a standup act -- or a least a journal full of ideas.

So, now what? How do comics get from being "nobody" to being "somebody"? How do you find fame?

The problem I see is that there are so many talented people who have all the desire for fame - but who aren't willing to do what it takes to be successful. (No, I don't mean anything X-rated.)

Many comics haven't realized that the way to fame has changed. They're engaged in "old school" showbiz, thinking that someone will come see them perform and discover them. But nobody is coming, because times have changed. There are plenty of ways for agents, managers, and others to discover talent without even going to clubs, and so some of them have stopped going. That's why you may have to discover yourself -- and take steps to start your career on your own.

You may not have control over fame choosing you, but you can choose and control working your craft, developing your ideas, writing that script, or directing a YouTube movie. That's something you can do without needing anyone else's approval or money.

Recently, I was talking to an actress friend of mine who said, "I want to do a TV talk show. I would be a great interviewer."

At first, I wanted to discourage her, because I know how hard it is to get a talk show on network TV, especially if you're not a household name. But, then I thought, "You want to do a talk show - then just friggin' do it!"

Anyone who wants to star in their own show can do it with a few friends, a cheap camera, and an Internet connection. Many of the recipients of movie, TV, and book deals include people who got their start by creating DIY shows on YouTube.

Justin Bieber was a virtual unknown until his soon-to-be manager accidentally happened

Justin Bieber

upon his YouTube videos. Comedian Bo Burnham received so many hits on YouTube that Comedy Central Records picked him up and started producing his albums. There are many, many more stories like these, because online is the new Hollywood.

It's hard to do it all yourself - but don't use that as an excuse to stop your career from happening.

Don't know how to edit, shoot video, or write? Check out Craigslist. There, you can find your production team. But, if you can't get past these problems on small projects -- how are you going to handle the huge projects that come with success?

After you produce your work, you need to find your audience. But in new school Hollywood, you don't need to hire an expensive publicist. You can use Twitter, Facebook, and email programs to find and grow your audience, or as the industry calls it, your "platform."

Having a "platform" played a big part in my getting another book deal with a generous advance. Being the author of several successful books in the past doesn't guarantee getting a deal anymore in a down economy. So, I spent four months writing a really convincing book proposal. The bulk of the proposal was highlighting my "platform" of comics and speakers who I assist with reaching their career goals, to reassure the publisher that they weren't taking too much of a risk.

A few years ago, people in the industry didn't need this level of assurance. But we are in tough times, where nobody is taking a chance on anything. Even if you are famous and successful, you still have to do the grunt work to get the big deals. Just showing up with an idea is no longer enough.

My friend is an Emmy award winning executive producer in reality TV. Even though she is extremely successful in the past and has a big shot agent, she still can't just show up and pitch an idea. So she's spent months writing up detailed treatments with act breaks, auditioned and cast her shows, and produced three minute "sizzle reels" for each show idea. She essentially does the entire show, herself, on her dime.

Are you willing to put your own money and time into producing your ideas? Because if you don't believe in what you're doing - why would anyone else?

If you are really passionate about what you do - then DIY your career.

Sound like a lot of work? It is. The hard work it takes to get anything done tends to weed out the unmotivated. That means there's less competition out there for those of us who don't just talk about doing something, but who do the work needed to make something happen.

This blog often feels like a full-time job, but it is an integral part of my DIY promotion platform. I don't have advertisers or a publishing house saying here's $50 write us something funny each week. But, this blog gives me a chance to share my knowledge with those that need it and I guess for now that's payment enough. (Psst - I offer coaching services)

Click here to leave your feedback, or on the following links to get tips on out how to produce a sizzle reel and typical submission guidelines for a book proposal.

And don't be afraid to ask people to follow you. If you don't ask, they won't. On that note here are my accounts and if you like what i have to say follow, fan and favorite me. I read everything.

-Judy

Protecting Yourself from Joke Thieves Forever

2011-08-16T12:35:00.000-07:00

The question I get asked most frequently from comics is, "How can I stop people from stealing my material?"

Last time I was asked, it was from someone who didn't even have an act yet. No joke!

This wanna-be comic was wondering -- if he did write jokes, and did get up onstage, how would his soon to be written material be protected?

I understand his concern. We comedians work hard to get material. We write joke ideas on little scraps of paper all day long, we agonize over whether "carrot" or "zucchini" is a funnier vegetable, and we become enraged at the thought of someone stealing our precious material.

What he's not paying enough attention to is something a lot more important. Comedians don't become famous because they have a few good lines.

Your real ticket to fame is your persona.

Your persona is a lot more than just your material. It's the sum of your topics, your energy, your point of view, your delivery and your look. Your persona is your brand. If your brand is strong, people will respond to it no matter how much your act changes over time. Best of all, unlike words, you are own your brand -- so nobody can ever steal it.

People go to Vegas to see Jerry Seinfeld -- not his act.

Jerry became famous to the world for his hit TV show. But to comedians, he was already a legend for his joke writing. For starters, he was known for actually doing what other comics know they should do but don't: Jerry wrote every day for at least an hour. He set a timer every morning and kept writing until it buzzed. What's more, his jokes were universally considered near perfect. They had strong premises, detailed observations, and brilliant punch lines. By the time he had been in comedy 22 years, he had put together one of the strongest acts in the business. Then he did something most comedians would consider unthinkable: he threw his act away and started over, as documented in the 2002 movie Comedian.

Did throwing his act away stop people from packing rooms to watch him perform? Not a bit. Jerry still sells out venues with his brand-new act. That's because people want to see Jerry Seinfeld. They want to hear him relate his unique point of view in his distinctive way.

Same thing with Jeff Foxworthy, Chris Rock, Kathy Griffin, or Larry the Cable Guy -- they have become a brand. So, Jerry Seinfeld doesn't have to worry about someone copying his jokes. What he gives an audience in a performance is much more than just a collection of random punch lines. And no one else can deliver Jerry's routine in quite the same way. That's what people are willing to pay for.

Make a list of successful comics and you might find that they all have a very distinct persona that can be described in a few words. Now do the same for yourself. What is your unique persona? Can you reduce it to a tag Line like the phrase "Domestic Goddess" that Rosanne Barr used to describe herself?

Give it a shot. It's a lot easier to know what to write ... when you figure out who you really are! And let me know if you need assistance with a consultation.

Are Older Female Comics the New Hot Ticket?

2011-08-11T09:39:00.000-07:00

Female comics who might have been considered over the hill at 50 years old, are now doing over the top box office. No joke.

Last Saturday night, I went to see the very elegant and funny Jeanne Robertson, from North Carolina, playing the classy Wilshire Ebell Theater in Beverly Hills, California. She is on her sold-out comedy tour across the US. (Did I mention that she is 67 years old?!)

You might not have heard of this hilarious 6'2', professional speaker turned comedian. She has never been on Leno, Letterman, or Conan. She's never played a comedy club, nor does she have a Hollywood agent, and she's not related to Charlie Sheen. Keep reading -- and you might learn about how new Internet markets can help older comics.

Jeanne started her career as Miss North Carolina, where she found herself doing 500 speeches a year. She continued performing as a professional speaker with a message about finding the funny in every day life. And from her height of 6' 2" she has a great view of the comedy that is all around us in a delightful Southern drawl.

Jeanne Robertson

"A woman in a grocery store said to me, 'You're not over six feet tall.'

I jokingly told her, 'Well actually I'm 5'14'

She said, 'I knew you weren't over six feet tall!'"

Many of her stories include her husband, who she refers to as "Left Brain." A fan uploaded a video of her story of Left Brain trying to understand naked bungee jumping -- and it caught on big. Within a few months, the YouTube video entitled "Don't Bungee Jump Naked" accumulated over three million hits.

That's when a promoter called Jeanne and organized a first class concert tour based on the cities that had the most YouTube clicks. Now, approaching 70 years old, Jeanne has a huge following of devoted baby boomer groupies flocking to see her live. Matter of fact, after her show I wanted to say hello ... but I couldn't get to her because she was surrounded by rabid fans trying to get her autograph as if she were Lady Gaga.

Hollywood has been slow to catch on to the money to be made in this untapped market. After all, in the US, there are more women over 50 years old than any other age group. Yet, when was the last time you heard a menopause joke on Leno?

(Ah.... Never?!)

But, here's the good news: because of this absence on TV, people over 50 are willing to plunk down $35 a ticket to see what we can't see on TV: the stories of our lives. And in Jeanne Robertson's hands, they are told with the skills of someone who has spent plenty of time honing her craft.

Jeanne Robertson will be performing in Tampa on Friday, November 4th and in Orlando on Saturday, November 5th. You can get tickets here. I'll also be doing a teleseminar with Jeanne this October. Stay tuned!

Tweeting Your Way to Misery

2011-08-04T12:14:00.000-07:00

I'm twittered out. I spent two days at the National Speaker's convention and the whole time I was tweeting, RTing, following, and follow-backing. Now, after my thousandth retweet - I'm going to retreat.

Many Americans may have wet dreams about having an audience, but for me it's like never getting to end the show, take my makeup off, and have some private time. Is it healthy to need an audience commentary on every thought that comes into our heads? And, anyway, who are these followers? If everyone on Twitter is competing to have followers, who is in the audience? -- Hello, anyone out there?

The uneven ratio of performers to audience members reminds me of why comedy "Bringer" shows were born, where comics, not only have to bring their act, but, people to watch it. It was this drying up of audiences that derailed the comedy gravy train days of the 80's. I guess that my books, "Standup Comedy: The Book," and "The Comedy Bible," helped too, by promoting the idea that anyone can be funny. Sorry about that.

Once audience members got up onstage, suddenly being a standup comedian wasn't necessarily about expressing talent, but became a challenge like walking on hot coals or skydiving. This became apparent to me when, after a Pap smear, my gynecologist handed me a flyer for his show at The Comedy Store. If I see my therapist doing a set, I'm going to get even more depressed!

With Twitter, now everyone has their own show. And success is not judged on content, but by follower count. I guess, I was supposed to be impressed when being introduced to someone at the NSA convention, the woman whispered excitedly - "He has 35,000 twitter followers!" But what does that mean? He's talented? Brilliant? Accomplished? I'm pretty sure that the biggest thing that guy had accomplished was getting 35,000 followers to follow him.

After this weekend, I see that getting followers is an energy-sapping, full time job. And what's the payoff? I suspect that five years from now the value of collecting so many followers will probably be worth the same as the baseball cards my step son collected when he was eight - nothing.

As Aaron Sorkin said recently, "Offline is the new Online." I get it. That's where you'll find me for a while.

So, that being said - follow me @judycarter

Can Comics Joke about Winehouse and Norway?

2011-07-26T21:13:00.000-07:00

My head is still swimming from the tragic unfunny events of last weekend: the death of my beloved Amy Winehouse and the actions of Norway's serial killer, Anders Breivik. I woke up Monday wondering, how are comics going to handle these events?

First, I checked out the master of bad taste - Gilbert Gottfried's -- page. This is the comic who lost his gig as an Aflac spokesperson by telling "too soon" tsunami jokes via Twitter. Guess what? No Winehouse jokes. Yet, although Gottfried resisted grabbing low hanging fruit, his fans filled his page with tons of poor taste Winehouse jokes. Yeah, you feeling an urge to look at them? In a way, this bad boy of comedy is sort of like a gory accident. You can't help but look.

But for those of us who want to have a healthy comedy career, what are our boundaries? When is it OK for comics to joke about tragedies? What are the rules?

You would think that a mass murder of Norwegians would never be fodder for laughs, yet Stephen Colbert got a lot of laughs out of the event on Monday night's "The Colbert Report." How? By poking fun of the stupidity of how the news organizations covered the tragedy. If you missed it, Colbert joked about the U.S. media's reaction to it before the facts were in - how everyone assumed that the killer was a Muslim terrorist.

He quoted a Wall Street Journal blogger writing, "There is a specific Jihadist connection here, Al-Qaeda's Ayman Al-Zawarihi has repeatedly singled out Norway,"

"You know the Wall Street Journal is accurate, because as a Murdoch paper, they've got proven ways to get information," Colbert retorted, referring to the hacking scandal.

Colbert even lambasted CNN, playing a clip of a guest attempting to explain how a Nordic-looking person could have a committed such an attack.

"Maybe it was a good disguise?" the guest said.

"Yes," Colbert said, "which is more plausible? That a non-Muslim did this or that Al-Qaeda has developed Polyjuice Potion?"

As, I say in " The Comedy Bible ," a basic rule of comedy is to not make the butt of your joke anyone who is considered oppressed. So, it's not the topic of the joke, but how it's handled that matters. In Colbert's riff, the butt of his jokes was the stupidity of now the US news handled the tragedy -- not the tragedy itself.

If you are in your first years of doing stand-up and want to cover current events, I would suggest you stick to joking about Rupert Murdoch. He's rich. He's powerful. He's definitely fair game. So, let loose! As comic, Steve Schneider said at an open mic this week, "Watching Rupert Murdoch talk, I got the impression that his heart is in the right place... it's just made out of frozen shit."

Fair game.

Tags: Standup, Jokes, Norway, Amy Winehouse, Rupert Murdoch, Steven Colbert, Gilbert Gottfried, The Comedy Bible, Anders Breivik

Standup and Speakers: Use this technique to write funnier material

2011-07-19T19:33:00.000-07:00

I've got a new favorite set-up I'm using that's so new it's not even in "The Comedy Bible." I call it, "Reluctant Admissions" and here's how it works: I make a big, bold statement of "truth" and then I have to admit that it was actually a total lie. Now, here's how you put it into action...

Recently, I was performing for a Canadian audience and I said:

[STATEMENT] "We have so much in common, you're from Canada - I'm from Canada!"

[ADMISSION ONE] "Well, not exactly 'Canada' Canada...'"

[ADMISSION TWO] "Actually, that's just what I tell people when I'm travelling through France."

Here's another example:

[STATEMENT] I lost 120 pounds!

[ADMISSION ONE] Well... I didn't exactly lose all of it at once.

[ADMISSION TWO] Well, actually - I just lost and gained the same 10 pounds twelve times.

Your turn now. Riff on this:

[STATEMENT] I finished my first 5K yesterday!

[ADMISSION ONE]

[ADMISSION TWO]

And you don't have to be a comic to add this to your spiel. It's a great opening joke for speakers and comics alike!

Go ahead and post your on jokes using this formula in my blog comments.

From Wrestling to Speaking

2011-05-23T16:17:00.003-07:00

By Judy Carter

This morning, I walked into my office to find an extremely handsome, massively muscled and intimidating young man sitting in my waiting room. Now, being a coach of stand-up comics and corporate speakers, none of which are known for their rippling muscles, I was half-convinced I'd walked into the wrong office. But no, this pro-wrestler was actually looking for me. His name was John Morrison and he was on a mission. He wanted to be funnier in the ring, funnier in interviews and he was looking to jumpstart a speaking career.

Now, I know absolutely nothing about professional wrestling. So, I did what I do for every corporate gig or for every aspiring speaker who hires me...I started researching Mr. Morrison like I was prepping for the SAT. I spent the weekend watching John's DVD as he hurled insults and his own body at opponents. I stared, mouth agape as he ran up walls, flew over chairs and vaulted over concession stands using Parkour techniques - a highly physical method of traveling through space using only your body to negotiate the obstacles before you. If you haven't seen it done, check out John inside an empty Staples Center, wow! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pE838vawgXE

John explained to me how he uses obstacles such as walls, chairs, and buildings to propel himself. Bingo! This was a very interesting premise - that the obstacles in our lives can actually give us direction and power and make us stronger. That it is the obstacles themselves that propel us forward!!! What a great message for kids who are overwhelmed with broken families, school bullies, broken hearts or just plain acne!

Underneath all the flash and bravado of his pro-wrestling persona, there was a genuine and valuable lesson to be learned and I've found that no matter the profession - doctor, lawyer, teacher, manager or accountant - every speaker has an important message the lies just underneath the surface story of their life. It's my job to help them dig a little deeper to find that message, to explore the metaphor of their experience and help them bring it to a larger audience.

It's a great moment - that moment of discovery and realization. It always leaves me energized and well, not quite bouncing off the walls like John but happy to have been part of the process of making a difference in other people's lives.

Judy's Corporate Comedy TeleSeminar now available to download

2011-05-19T10:17:00.001-07:00

Thanks to all of you who attended the teleseminar yesterday - "How to Transition from Stand-up to Corporate Comedy." Did you miss it? If so, no worries; you can download it here.

My guest on the teleseminar was Patricia Fripp, who has an uber successful speaking career, and is also a generous mentor for up-and-coming speakers. She gave great advice on transitioning to a speaking career, along with some tips on how to run a creative career as a professional business. This was an eye-opener for many people on the call, since many of us comics tend to take roadblocks in our careers personally, and don't even think of looking for business solutions to overcoming those obstacles. (Thanks Patricia!)

I'm committed to helping talented and funny people getting successful, so I want to remind everyone just how many opportunities are out there.

One of the listeners asked if the corporate market is open to gay comics. The answer is, "Yes, as long as you get really good and know how to brand yourself."

We then talked about opportunity for diversity speakers, and even how there are speaking gigs at --would you believe -- nudist camps. Just goes to show that if you're determined, you can find work regardless of who you are, or how you dress... with or without pants.

Callers also asked, "How does a speaker find their message?"

To find your message, you have to find out who you are, and what story you have to tell. We all have a life story to tell that can make a difference in other people's lives. It's not something that has to be made up; it's something that we are already are living. Sometimes when I'm coaching someone I just can't believe how obvious it is. It's right there in the stories you tell your friends and family every day. (You just might need someone with a fresh perspective and some experience to help you see it.)

But, regardless of your style or message, start looking at your career as a business. It's the surest way to change the course of your financial situation.

One way to develop a business perspective is to start paying more attention to your web presence. Ask yourself if your blogs, tweets, and postings are just filling time - or if they're tools that you're using to actually advance your career. (You aren't helping your corporate comedy career when your Facebook page has photos of you in a beer coma with the caption "I'm my favorite vegetable!")

Want to be successful? Start making some different choices.

Missed Judy's teleseminar? Download the one-hour MP3 audio of the TeleSeminar here.

The buzz:

"Loved the repartee between you two and the shared wisdom and experiences."

"Really great information on how to get started on getting lucrative corporate gigs!"

Your Introduction Can Make or Break Your Set

2011-05-16T10:24:00.000-07:00

Picture this situation: you’re a comic or a corporate speaker and you’ve spent hours and hours prepping your act or speech, and now, the big day has arrived and it’s your moment to step on stage. The emcee/host takes the mike and says, “Ladies and Gentlemen, have you watched “The Tonight Show” or “The Daily Show?” Well, this next comic.... watches them too!” Now, you’re going to have to spend the next ten minutes of your presentation or act trying to win over an audience that now thinks you’re a nobody. In other words, whether you’re a comic or a corporate speaker, you can’t leave your intro to the imagination of an emcee. They usually don’t have one.

Here’s a few tips on how to prevent a bad intro from ruining your gig:

Always come to your gig with your intro typed in huge letters. A lot of emcees don’t wear their glasses on stage. Make it easy for them to read your intro especially if they are over 40.
Tell the emcee not to improvise, just read it.
Work in a joke into your intro. When speaking, I have a little joke at the beginning that tests the temperature of the audience. If they laugh during the intro, I know it’s a hot audience. If they don’t, I usually readjust my set since this audience is going to need a warm up.
Put your impressive credits right up front. If you don’t have credits yet, find something that could impress the audience even if it’s from another field or your mother.
Give the audience an idea of what they can expect. I.e. “One of the top political satirists” or “Stress reduction expert.”
End with your name and if your name is anything other than Judy Carter, then spell it out phonetically.
Especially if you’re Polish. It’s horrible coming onstage to the wrong name.

Still need some help writing your emcee intro? Use mine as a template:
Our guest speaker is Judy Carter, Goddess of Comedy -- but she says we can just call her…“Goddess.”
You will probably recognize Judy as she has done comedy on over a hundred TV shows. Her company Comedy Workshops in Los Angeles trains stand-up comics and speakers who want to get laughs rather than yawns.

As an author, Judy doesn’t like to brag, but she did write the Bible. No joke, she’s the author of “The Comedy Bible” which was featured on “Good Morning America,” CNN, and “The Oprah Winfrey Show” where Oprah recommended the book to anyone who wants to lighten up. Judy will be signing copies of her book after her talk.

Judy writes custom comedy material for CEOs, Senators, speakers and celebrities including Diane Sawyer. She is a sought after speaker for Fortune 500 companies where she shows how humor techniques can help reduce stress and improve the bottom line. Her message of using humor as a business tool has been featured in the Wall Street Journal, New York Times and Success Magazine.
Her talk today is titled – “Getting What You Want Before You Forget What It Is.”
Ladies and Gentlemen… Judy Carter.

Addicted to Sheen

2011-03-03T10:48:00.000-08:00

Addicted to Sheen
By Judy Carter

I’m embarrassed to admit that I’ve found myself enjoying watching Charlie Sheen’s mental illness train wreck breakdown.

(His manic-depression might have been masked at one time by drugs, but now there’s not much else that can explain this level of odd behavior from someone who’s passed a drug test.)

I’ve marked Sheen-themed stories to the very top of my iGoogle news favorites. That scares me, because now I find it more interesting to read about Charlie’s ex-wife trying to free her children from the goddesses -- than to watch videos of Libyan rebels risking their lives to escape Gaddafi.

It all started with Charlie’s strange ramblings on “The Today Show.” That led to hours of listening on to his manic rants on YouTube, and scouring the Internet for more radio interviews, and eventually to surfing the Charlie Sheen soundboard with clips of his quotes. (“Bam! Winning.”)

Somewhere along the way, I got hooked on watching a Golden Globe award winning actor decay into a state of self-destructive mania and patronizingly saying, “Yes, how sad.”

I ‘d like to convince myself I’m just observing, to keep up with the news and comedic actors.

But honestly, I’m watching for that climatic straitjacket ambulance ride after the psychotic warlock tirade we all know is coming. I’m anticipating it with the giddy excitement of a drunken, binocular-wielding NASCAR fan at the screams of tires and bending metal just before the ten-car pileup.

Will the cars flip? Catch on fire? Will burning severed limbs fly through the air to shrieks of horror -- or will drivers – or Charlie Sheen -- miraculously be thrown clear and walk away without a scratch? I know I should look away – but I can’t.

I have to wonder -- are we all watching because Charlie Sheen makes us feel better about our own state of mind? And regardless of the answer, what does it say about anyone’s mind who enjoys the tragic spectacle of another person’s descent into madness?

My dark side has led me to places that I wish I’d visited. As I visited the Holocaust Museum in Washington DC, there was a warning sign: “The images and videos on other side of this wall are violently disturbing and not for children.”

To this day, I regret ever having peeked at those videos of torture; the images are seared into my brain and still terrify me in the middle of the night.

So why do we look?

I’ve never seen Lindsey Lohan in a movie, or followed her career at all -- but I saw the story that she was arrested – I clicked on it.

I don’t understand, for myself or anyone else – what creates the compulsion to watch things that horrify us. I don’t know the “why”.

But I do know that, at some point – it’s time to look away.

Pick up your remote control. And as Charlie might say, “Your brain can’t process this. Bam! Switching!”

Judy Carter is one of America's top motivational humorists. She is the author of "The Comedy Bible" (Simon & Schuster) and has appeared on over 100 television shows as well as thousands of corporate events. Judy's expertise in bringing humor to corporations has created a nationwide demand for her as a corporate speaker as well as generated feature articles in the Wall Street Journal, LA Times, New York Times and Success Magazine to name a few. She has also been featured on many National TV shows such as CNN, ABC World News and Oprah, as well as being a regular contributor to National Public Radio.

Academy Awards 2011 bombs!

2011-02-28T10:08:00.001-08:00

Last night watching the 2011 Academy Awards hosted by James Franco and Anne Hathaway, it became clear that actors can’t do what standup comics do best – host and be funny. The show was a belaboring, boring, bomb! Let’s bring back comics to host the show who have the chops to connect with an audience, react to the unexpected, and be funny. I was dying to see what Jon Stewart would have done with the Kirk Douglas “going on forever” fiasco. Turn Wanda Sykes loose with that self-serving ABC corporate announcement. But, putting James Franco in drag for an open-mic quality Charlie Sheen joke was a long setup with no payoff. Meanwhile, would-have-been comedy nuggets were left untouched leaving TV viewers to mine their own barbs.

Don’t get be started on the actors who won and had not prepared an acceptance speech.

“I’m speechless, what a shock!”

You had three months to prepare for this moment! Actors need to understand that they are nothing without writers. If you are nominated for an award where you might be speaking to millions of people all over the world, hire me, or another comedy writer to give you a memorable line that will be quoted for years. Actors are idiots.

It’s official, no more academy award parties, or even sitting by myself watching the show. There are more entertaining ways to spend a Sunday night – like watching a Youtube videos of babies dancing.

What to do with your journal of ideas

2010-12-29T11:29:00.000-08:00

Ideas can ruin your life!

If you're like most creative people, you have a notebook full of ideas, premises, half jokes, dialogue snippets, and random thoughts.

Currently, I have 54 Iphone audio files, 35 journals, and countless scraps of paper full of AMAZING IDEAS!!! For most of my life , in the middle of a party, dinner, and even sex, I would write down or record an idea with the exuberance that comes from a Eureka moment. I've gone around with a smugness knowing that I have documentation for a brilliant stand-up chunk, an amazing new speech, an Uber funny screenplay, and the first chapter of an amazing novel. But, have I read them or listened to them? No.

So, since it's the holiday season, I decided to get out my old journals, dig out my audio files and go over my ideas. It was sad listening to the endless enthusiasm of myself recording an idea that, in the light of day, was either vague, hack, stupid, nonsensical. At best, some had merit, but would take weeks and sometimes years to develop, write, shape, rewrite, and then, what? Rent a theater and produce a one-person show? Spend five years shopping around a screenplay? Another book? I began to hate ideas.

That's when I realized that it's not ideas that are worth while - it's what one does with them. Everyone who walks into my stand-up workshop has journals filled with funny ideas, only to be disappointed to find out that they all need "work." Everyone has ideas, but like eggs, you've got to sit on them, hatch them, feed them, and then endure the disappointment of spending your time on something that will, most likely, never get off the ground.

Ideas can be time robbers, and committing to the wrong idea is tantamount to saying "I do" to the wrong person. In my 30's I committed to a screenplay idea that took me two years to write, got me ten meetings, and got me lunch with an agent half my age asking me over a plate of seared scallops, "What else do you got?" Well, more ideas.

So now, I'm going to break up with my files of ideas. And as I meet new ideas, I'm going to let them go with the ease of a 20 year old frat boy leaving a one-night stand. Hello idea, goodbye idea. You are not going to move into my Iphone recorder on first visit. I'll drop you off at a Facebook status entry, or maybe drop you into a line at my next gig. And if you keep coming back, well, let's talk then.

If you have a journal full of funny ideas, come join Judy at a free stand-up workshop and see which ones will fly.

Sunday, Noon to 2pm in Hollywood. Space VERY limited. Email info@comedyworkshops.com to register.

On the road with Judy Carter -- fear of packing

2010-11-21T10:22:00.001-08:00

I don't have a fear of flying - I have a fear of packing. I start packing one week before I'm going anywhere. Im going for a safari to east Africa. I worry constantly because God forbid I forgot my adapter for my blueooth keyboard. I fret then as I'm sure it's next to impossible to find a Best Buy while on safari in the Serengeti. But last night, the day before we''re leaving, I flew into Blue code panic as I couldn't find my passport, plane ticket, and health docs.

I do what I always do when this happens, I hyperventilate, start screaming, and go to the verge of cardiac arrest. This, of course makes looking for my docs impossible.

This condition happened last year as i boarded a plane to Australia. As the plane doors closed I couldn't find my passport and I was certain that I threw it away in the trash can at the gate. They opened the plane door so I could look and while I was crying and cursing,while looking through a garage can of half eaten Subway sandwiches, I did find it -- in my back pocket.

My friend Mimi who is a motivational speaker and one of the most positive people I know describes my problem this way: "Judy has a casual relationship to objects." Which is a nicer than the way my partner describes it: "You're an irresponsible, messy, disorganized hysterical person with ADD." Yeah, I like Mimi's description better.

This "casual relationship with objects" and the panic that insures had roots deep in my childhood from being an eight year old magician. Magic depends on every little object being in place. One little missing gismo is then difference between "Ta-da!" and "You suck!" I wasn't a good magician as I would forget prime objects -- such as leaving my goldfish in a plastic bag on the dining room table. This would dampen my finale of a glass of sugar to, well, a glass of water! Not so dramatic. But actually, this is the moment I became a comedian. As pretending tthat your mistake were meant to happen and getting laughs far outweighed the humiliation of being a failed magician.

So, we found my travel docs, which were with my will. Panic gone. Will? Yes, as since we hadn't rewritten our wills since we got married,and since my mother died the same age I turn next week, and we are going to Rwanda which has the distention of being known for genocide and wild gorillas we thought it would be a good time to do wills.

For the past two weeks, all conversations have started with, "So, when you die..." or "When we both die..." or "When I die..." Very depressing. And to make matter worse we had a clash of "Wills." Literally. "If we both die," said my loved one, "I want to leave our house to the cats with the life insurance going to their care."

Now, don't get me wrong. I love our cats, but we're talking legacy here. So, off to the imago therapist we go to work it out. Evie, our couple's therapist, as opposed to our individual therapist, (yes, to make us work, it does take a village of shrinks.) We went in fighting and exited best friends again. We worked out a way to take care of the cats, dogs, AND friends and charities.

So, I'm on the plane, the first hour of a 24 hour travel day to arrive in Africa. Fear is gone as the pacing is over. Here we come! Wait.. did I bring hand sanitizer? Oh No!

join Judy at
Social.comedyworkshops.com
Social networking for comics

Performance Tips: How to have an audience HATE you in 10 seconds or less

2010-09-30T13:31:00.001-07:00

Never, never, make fun of the town you are playing. Especially if you are playing a small town, people are extremely sensitive to outsiders dis’in’ their home. I used to do jokes such as,

“I can’t believer that I’m in a town where the tallest building is dunkin’ donuts.”

“The name of your town, Tulare, sounds like a disease! ‘Doctor I have a case of Tulare and it itches.”

Making fun of the town you are playing is like walking into someone’s home and criticizing how ugly it is. You’re not going to be invited back.

Rather than joking about the town you’re playing, trash where you’re from, especially if you live in a big city that everyone already has an opinion about. I found that being from Los Angeles gives me a lot of joke power to get the audience on my side.

“You have a lot of things here in your town that we don’t have in LA – like friendly people.”

“Wow! Even the air is different here. You can’t see it.”

Not the funniest of jokes, but they not only got laughs, I got the audience on my side and got them to relax that I wasn’t going to be bashing their home town.

Judy Carter

"Laughing your way out of Stress"

www.judycarter.com

310-915-0555

facebook/judycarter3

Topping the heckler INSIDE of your head

2010-09-25T09:29:00.000-07:00

For you comics and speakers who stand in front of audiences, I’m sure you have all experienced: the inner critical voice. You know what I’m talking about? That little voice that packs a big punch giving you a blow-by- blow Simon Crowell commentary on your set, while you’re performing it! It’s the inner voice that chastises you when you don’t think of an absolutely brilliant comeback; the voice that tells you that everyone hates when you didn’t get a laugh; the voice cuts you down, telling you that you are NOT funny.

“They hate you!”

“Well, you’ve really lost them now.”

“What ever made you think that you were funny!”

The great Russian acting teacher, the legionary Stanislavski said this to an actor, “If you feel it and the audience feels it, that’s good.” If you feel it and the audience doesn’t, that’s bad.” “But if you don’t feel it and the audience does, that’s good too.”

Really? Can a performer so misgauge their own perception of how a show is going? Yes! Here’s a news flash: your inner critic is probably wrong most of the time.

I had a real test of this when my best friend saw my speech last weekend for a client in Palm Springs. It was a difficult gig as it was outside, so I couldn’t hear the laughs. During the first 20 minutes, my inner critic was going at full blast telling me that I was unconnected to the audience, awkward, and that my delivery was stale. Around the half way point, I hit new material that I felt connected to and the voice finally stopped.

Afterwards, I asked my friend, who has heard me speak many times before, if she noticed how awkward the first part was. She told me that not only couldn’t tell, but she was surprised at my perception as she thought that I got everyone engaged right at the start. Really?!!

So, it helps to know that that voice is not reality. It rarely is. If your inner critic is telling you that everyone hates you, ignore it as nobody really cares enough about a speaker or a comic to hate them. Indifference yes, but rarely hate.

Join http://social.comedyworkshops.com to network with comics, get helpful tips and job listings for comics.

Judy Carter teaches speaking and standup comedy workshops. She is the author of “The Comedy Bible” as well as “Speaking Career in a Box” DVD series and workshops on how to earn six figures in the professional speaking profession at www.speakeringcareerinabox.com

facebook/judycarter3

How to get an audience to love you in 60 seconds

2010-09-24T08:39:00.001-07:00

To get an audience to love you, open with a story that is about THEM! What is everyone interested in? Themselves.

Last night I spoke at a women’s event in Robinson, Illinois. I opened with a story about my drive through Amish country and the unusual names of the cities I drove through to get there:

“What a long scary drive it was from Indianapolis to get here. I was driving so long that I looked at the time on my cell phone and it went back an hour? [Indiana is Eastern time and Illinois is on Central Time.] Then, in front of me on the road was a horse and buggy. Time didn’t change an hour! It changed a 100 years! {Huge laughs]. Then I drove, what seemed to me to be forever, and I hit Palestine [name of a city near Robinson]. Did I miss a turn? Because somehow I’m not in the Midwest, I’m in the Middle East! [Huge Laughs]. This is scary because, 1. It’s late at night, 2. I’m Jewish. [Huge Laughs]”

I always riff at the beginning of my speech on material that is specific to the audience. The audience really appreciates that and I then have them in the palm of my hand after that!

Judy Carter

"Laughing your way out of Stress"

www.judycarter.com

310-915-0555

facebook/judycarter3

Is Doing Corporate Comedy Gigs "Selling Out" for Comics?

2010-09-23T09:44:00.001-07:00

I got an email today from a comic suggesting that I'd "sold out" by doing corporate comedy gigs. Hmmmm. It seems to me that this comic was getting her exercise by jumping to conclusions. But this criticism makes me realize that many comics don't really understand what corporate gigs really are.

Would you believe that corporate events I've performed at have included speaking for Cancer Survivors, Women's Leadership Conferences, Hospital Wellness Day, Professional Administrator's day, People Living with AIDS Benefit, Diversity Day, and more? Of course there are the 8AM Management Meetings for an accounting firm, but just because an event is sponsored by a corporation, doesn't mean that we funny speakers and comics are compromising our message.

"But what about censorship?" Yes, doing corporate, comics and speakers have to work clean. That means that your material has to be really funny as you can't count on shock words or sex jokes to get a reaction. Actually, I found more limitations working comedy clubs, where the necessity to get a laugh every 10 seconds, meant that I couldn't tell humorous stories with poignant moments.

Corporate gigs have less bigotry about age. How many female comics over 50 years old have you seen on Comedy Central? Let me count, ah...none! Many corporations are committed to diversity and that means that they hire minorities, gays, women, and speakers over 50. When was the last time you lady comics got a gig where you got to do an hour for 1500 appreciative people and got paid well?

Comics speaking and performing at corporate events really are making a difference in people's lives. So what if we go to the workplace to perform, rather than they come to comedy clubs? Many people these days who are working and raising a family don't have the time or the money to go to the clubs. Working the corporate gigs not only gives us comics an appreciative audience and great income, but it also gives us an opportunity to shake things up!

Or, do I sound defensive?

More blogs and tips for comics at http://social.comedyworkshops.com/

Judy Carter

"Laughing your way out of Stress"

www.judycarter.com

310-915-0555

facebook/judycarter3

Tips on Comedy Writing

2010-09-14T15:41:00.000-07:00

Tip #1: Rather than picking a funny topic (i.e. Viagra, anal bleaching, you get the idea), start with a serious topic that is authentic to something you're dealing with (i.e. a breakup, illness, moving back home with your family). Working off a funny topic creates hack material, finding the funny in a serious topic takes creativity.

Tip #2: Get your audience engaged by starting off with rhetorical questions. "Anyone else think that Lady Gaga's meat dress was over the top in cholesterol?" Remember, stand-up is not a speech, but a conversation, and including the audience is always a good idea.

Tip #3: Rather than sitting at a computer to write comedy material, get together with a comedy buddy in person or via Skype and create your material in conversation and then write it. We've created a new networking comedy buddy system, and it's free. Find your "comedy soul-mate" here.

How many physicists does it take to do stand-up?

2010-08-31T16:40:00.000-07:00

In our last Los Angeles stand-up class we had two nuclear physicists learning comedy. That's right, two. Rather than splitting atoms they were splitting people’s sides with laughter at our showcase at the Hollywood Improv. So it got me thinking, what do physics and stand-up comedy have in common?

Stand-up, like physics, is the investigation of the small details of life. Whether you’re a physicist observing sub atomic particles or a stand-up comic observing your boss’s shoulder dandruff, both stand-ups and physicists want to know why things work the way they do, and both of them reduce the elements of life to their smallest molecular detail.

In this last round of classes of 2010, I have redesigned the first class to truly zero in on each comic’s authentic topic and assist them into drilling down to the subatomic particles of their personality and life.

Check out physicists Paul Wehner and David Relyea perform for the very first time.

Judy Carter teaches standup comedy in Los Angeles and online. New classes start on September 29, 2010.

www.comedyworkshops.com

Critics who say that comics should not study their craft are ignorant and lazy

2010-07-28T14:39:00.000-07:00

When Chris Rock found his career stagnating as a club middler, he took time off the road to study comedy.

"You have to study comedy to learn comedy. You have to become a student." Chris Rock, Ebony Interview

According to an article in Ebony, Rock obsessively studied comedy greats such as Richard Pryor, Woody Allen, and Don Rickles. He attributes understanding their technique, timing, and delivery to his becoming, as he put it, a "Comedy Jedi Knight."

Who can argue as currently, Rock is listed as #2 in Forbes highest paid comics in the business. So, this coming Thursday night [August 5th], in our new Online Stand-up Workshop is "Chris Rock - Learn How to Create Cutting Edge Premise" night.

Each Thursday night's workshop, we will focus on a top comic [see upcoming schedule] analyze what they're doing right, and learn from them. Upcoming Thursday include: Jerry Seinfeld, Sarah Silverman, and Jon Stewart. Also, since these drop in workshops are limited to only 5 participants, everyone will have an opportunity to perform material and get feedback as well as punchup.

Reply to this email and let me know which comics inspire you and we might dedicate a workshop night to one of them as well.

Getting Successful

2010-06-09T11:44:00.000-07:00

In my 20's and 30's, no matter what success I had, it wasn't enough. I wrote a play and got it produced, but it didn't win a Pulitzer Prize. I made a living as a headlining standup comic, but I didn't get a reoccurring part on a sitcom. No matter how hard I worked, success seemed to elude me.

My turning point was 15 years ago when I was teaching stand-up comedy in my converted garage in Venice, California. There was a student who couldn't understand how to write a joke. Then, after I took the time to explain to her what she needed to do, she got it! After that, she was hilarious.

The class wasn't on TV, nor written up in a review, but I realized at that moment, that success has nothing to do with how many people see what you do or how much money you make. Success is the satisfaction of a job well done. Realizing this, angst and resentment left me and I let myself feel successful. Cut to years later, that same student Sherri Shepard went on to having a successful comedy career on "The View," in movies, and in her own sitcom.

Now, in my career as a motivation speaker, I have spoken for 20 people in the Valley, and I've spoken for 8500 with President Clinton. What I've learned is that it doesn't matter how many people are in the audience, how much I'm getting paid, but rather it's the success of making a difference in people's lives -- and that's what true success is.

Would You Compromise for Comedy?

2010-04-13T13:27:00.000-07:00

I'm going to be teaching the class that starts tomorrow as well as on Saturday, and in this first class we work to find each comic's "authentic topic." The showcase at the Hollywood Improv is always a rockin' success, but as students go on to perform at an assortment of open mikes, they have emailed me this question, "Is changing your material to please the audience an act of betraying your authentic voice or is it a practicality that is necessary to being successful?" Do we create material hoping, “Will people get this?” or do we write material utterly for self expression?

In performing for a corporate comedy gig I asked my corporate comedy clients, “What did you like and didn't like about the comic who performed last year?” My client then went on a rant, “Oh, she bombed because she did all this Jewish material. My people are Catholic, they didn’t care about her Jewish grandmother.” So, there went my Hanukah chunk. I didn’t feel good about doing that.

I think of Larry David before he was the creator of “Seinfeld” and the star of “Curb.” Working out material at New York’s Catch a Rising Star, David made it a point to play above the audience’s head and work for the comics in the back. He kept to his brand of comedy even if it meant bombing. But then again, there are hundreds of comics who use the comedy stage for self expression and one of them, actually, does my taxes. Need I say more?

The extremely talented Suzanne Westenhoefer, a lesbian comic quiped in her act, “Looking at Ellen’s career, I realized that you come out, after you’re famous… Oops!” Westenhoefer is a star in the gay market, as well as having achieved much success, her own HBO special among other TV credits, but her joke made me think, “Would Ellen DeGeneres have become such a successful star if she had free discussed her personal life earlier?” Perhaps not.

The comics who have achieved super stardom seem to have found the intersection between their personal lives and the topics that are core for their “group.” George Lopez used his talent to creatively market his act to the Latino community and built his audiences. With his grass roots efforts in creating a huge fan base, he then crossed over into expanding his image to appeal to the masses.

Do we change our acts for the audience, or keep true to our material no matter what? Do we do that lesbian, Passover, S/M joke when performing in the Bible Belt? What do you think?

Writing New Material (aka "AHHHHHHH!!!")

2010-04-06T13:34:00.000-07:00

I’ve been making a living from performing comedy for more years than I like to reveal, and yet, writing new material still sends me into a state of panic.

I had a client rebook me for a 60 minute program. I accepted and then found out that it’s going to be the same audience. Oye! This gave me two months to come up with a new act. So, after procrastinating for the first month, I started working on the speech and I was immediately hit with a wave of insecurity and self loathing. I think my inner critic is channeling Simon Cowell. Every joke I wrote warranted a comment from my inner critic, “That sucks! That is the worst joke I’ve ever heard. I thought you were supposed to be an expert.”

But after a few weeks of writing total crap, things started to change. So, I thought I would give my peeps some suggestions that helped me.

Tips for writing new material:

1. Write it. Force yourself to write non directed material first thing in the morning. Do it for ten minutes without stopping. Writing first thing in the morning from bed you have a better chance accessing your subconscious and finding some gold nuggets there. Your dog, kids, and Facebook updates can wait 10 minutes.

2. Walk it. Take your ideas out for a walk. Get away from the computer and perform your jokes and half baked ideas out loud. Have a Bluetooth headset in your ear, so no one will think that you’re a crazy person.

3. Rewrite it. Get back to the computer and rework your material after your walk. Incorporate any new ideas that you came up with while you were walking.

4. Skype it. Now with Skype, your comedy buddy doesn't need to live in the same city as you. Stay tuned as we will have a new comedy buddy forum to hook you up with like minded comedy buddies to work out your jokes.

5. Stick with it. It took me two weeks to come up with the right “act-out” to a premise. Comedy seems to happen in it’s own time and if you keep with it, you might get lucky.

6. Perform it. My gig is in May, and I’m starting to go from fear to excitement as I see the material develop. And if you need more help -- new classes start next week. I hope to see you there as I can help you to also go from frantic to focused.

Judy Carter
"Laughing your way out of Stress"
www.judycarter.com
310-915-0555
facebook/judycarter3

Types of Shows for Beginners

2010-01-14T13:42:00.000-08:00

In response to my last blog entry, I received a nice note from George Carlin's daughter, Kelli.

"I believe that it was his ability and willingness to evolve that kept him personally passionate and professionally relevant. Good luck with your next incarnation!! "

Keeping in line with George Carlin's pursuit of his own voice, whether you're just starting out doing stand-up, or you're an old pro with new material, all comics need to find a place to get stage time. As you work out your material in front of the audience, you will find where the laughs are and where they aren't. Even if you are performing for a small audience, you will learn something each time, adding to your arsenal of stand-up techniques.

I've included Ben Rosenfeld's informative blog in this week's newsletter where he explains the different types of shows where beginners can get stage time. Enjoy.
- Judy Carter

Reprinted with Permission.

The Comedy Business: Types of Shows for Beginners
18 December 2008 | By Ben in About

People are always curious how a comedian gets onto any given show, especially a newer comedian. The three main types of ways for getting on stage as a new comedian are:

Bringer shows
What is it: Each comedian has to bring X number of people (between 2 and 15 at most places) who are willing to pay a cover charge, order at least 2 drinks and listen to a lot of different comedians, a good amount of whom are not that funny. There are usually a couple of professionals in this kind of show to ensure that the audience gets at least some laughs.

Pros: You get a real live audience, and since part of the audience knows you, they’re more likely to laugh at your jokes, which may help the people who don’t know you to start laughing as well, that whole laughter is contagious thing.

Cons: You run out of people to invite to shows really quick, the audience can be too supportive to the point that you don’t learn what’s truly funny, and you end up stressing about all your people showing up instead of concentrating on your act.

Barking for a Spot
What is it: You stand outside of the club, usually on a busy foot traffic corner, trying to stop people, hand out fliers and convince them to come watch stand up. You usually stand outside or “bark” for 1-3 hours in exchange for 5-10 minutes of stage time.

Pros: You don’t have to stress about bringing people, most clubs will pay a couple of bucks for each person you successfully convince to come to the show, the audience doesn’t know you so the laughter is genuine, and you learn cold calling skills, which can be useful at winning over a tough crowd (and lots of other situations).

Cons: You have to stand outside for 2-3 hours, you get rejected 99% of the time (although learning not to take rejection personally is good), and if the club has more than one show that night, you’re outside the entire time except for when you perform, so you can’t learn from / listen to other comedians.

Open Mic:
What is it: You pay $5 for five minutes of stage time. Some places say you just need to buy a drink instead, and most cities outside of New York / LA / Chicago don’t charge you money to get on stage. Actual stage time ranges from 3 minutes to 8 minutes depending on club.)

Pros: Anyone can get stage time and if you plan it out, you can do 2-3 mics a night (in NYC at least).

Cons: Anyone can get stage time. You know those guys that weren’t funny at the bringer show? Well they’re better than many of the people at the open mics (this varies from city to city though). Also, in NYC the only people that come to watch open mics are other comedians, who are not very helpful when you’re trying to learn what a real audience will find funny.

http://www.bigbencomedy.com/blog/archives/types-of-shows-for-beginners/

Finding a place to develop your authentic voice

2010-01-05T16:07:00.000-08:00

I'm reading George Carlin's autobiography, "Last Words: The Memoir." All aspiring and professional comics should read this book, which documents his evolution in finding his “authentic voice."

Carlin began his career by performing as a team with Jack Burns, then left to go solo on a journey to develop his own material. He and his wife traveled all across the US (including the Midwest), with Carlin performing night after night, with no money and no home. At many of the nightclubs, he bombed. Yet, the more he scrambled to please conservative audiences, the more he became displeased with himself.

Carlin decided to find an outlet where he felt he could perform for like-minded people. He found that in the Greenwich Village coffee club scene. The year was 1962. Lenny Bruce was getting arrested on a regular basis for performing “obscene” material. Yet, Carlin found the freedom to develop his characters (like the Hippy, Dippy Weatherman), as well as tell edgier jokes about race, religion, and politics. He found a place where he belonged.

For comics, it’s always a difficult path trying to balance the discovery of our "authentic voice" while trying to please fickle audiences. In my 20+ years of doing standup, I've gone through many transformations. I started out as a "goofy" magician able to play any audience with my TV-friendly act. Then came the feminist movement of the 1970's where my magic tricks got edgier, such as my "Escape From My Grandmother's Girdle." Then I let go of my props and began performing stand-up at political events. Then came the gay movement, where I developed and performed my "Womb With A View" show in Provincetown, MA, coming out of the closet in the process. The challenge became to find my place. That’s when I started teaching, in order to create a place where everyone could be themselves without feeling judged. I formed Comedy Workshops where all ideas are welcome.

For the past ten years I've done a complete “180” performing at corporations, steering my material away from controversial topics, attempting to find the thread that unites us all. And yet, inspired by Carlin's memoir, I see that "the times, they are a changin” again. And now, the teacher must rediscover her own voice, becoming a student as I look for a place where I belong. Perhaps at this point, the audience isn’t the one judging my material, it’s me.

Join me at the Hudson Theater in Hollywood, this Sunday from 12-3pm for a free stand-up comedy class. Sign up here.

New Year's Anti-Resolution

2009-12-29T14:36:00.000-08:00

As the Goddess of Comedy, I feel obliged to share my advice about New Year's resolutions...don't make any!

Here's why:

This year I'm going to...

Lose weight! This is stupid because 90% of diets end in failure. You have more of a chance of seeing Paris Hilton win a Nobel Peace Prize than keeping weight off. Plus, intense dieting ruins metabolisms. After so much dieting - now I have to jog 14 miles to work off a tic-tac I ate in 1999.
Exercise more! Have you ever wondered how gyms can sell thousands of new memberships every year and they never get crowded? Because people join and don't go. Take my advice - just walk to the gym and then walk back. It's cheaper and you don't have to listen to someone breaking wind while they're doing sit-ups.
Find my soul mate and live happily ever after! Unrealistic fairy tales such as "someday my prince will come" create unrealistic expectations. And next thing you know, you're smashing your soul mate's car window in with a golf club. Instead of someday my prince will come, try hoping for - someday the person I can tolerate will come.
Be more organized. Didn't you do that last year? Or perhaps you lost that list...
Be a better person. Unless you're a lying, cheating, scumbag, perhaps, you are fine the way you are. What if we could all enjoy life on January 1st just the way we are - fat, broke, and surrounded by idiots?

In LA? Join Judy's free stand-up class on Sunday, Jan. 10th noon to 3pm. Details here.

Blue vs. You

2009-12-18T13:37:00.000-08:00

Working Blue and Getting Cheap Laughs or Staying True To Your Voice and Getting a Career…

So, Aadip, my assistant here at comedyworkshops.com did well at our graduating showcase at the Hollywood Improv and got his first booking at a non-paying gig in the Main Room at the prestigious Comedy Store, here in LA.

He got laughs, but noticed that the crowd really responded to “dick” jokes from other comics, while some of the smarter, more emotionally true humor of his and several other Comedy Workshops comics got a less enthusiastic response.

Welcome to the rough world of working the clubs. I remember feeling the same way one night at a club in Philadelphia where I had to follow a comic whose entire act was about how good he was at oral sex. “I mean, I could tell what a girl had for dinner, I’m just that good.” Seeing how many laughs he got, I threw away my planned set and I did my own raunchy set.

Following me was a new young comic by the name of Jerry Seinfeld.
Jerry did his observational material that he is so famous for now. He didn’t get any laughs for at least five minutes. After hearing an evening of sex jokes, “What’s up with lint?” wasn’t at all interesting to the audience. But, Jerry didn’t change his material and went from his routine about “lint,” to “What’s up with putting two socks into the dryer and only one comes out?” First a few people started to laugh and eventually he got the entire audience in the palm of his hand. He got -- not only their laughs, but their respect.

Blue material might get a laughs, but committing to your comedy vision might just get you a career.

Just ask Jerry.

Comedy Family Values

2009-09-03T10:01:00.000-07:00

“Comedian Sunda Croonquist has been getting big laughs making ethnic stereotype jokes about her mother-in-law, but it’s no laughing matter as her mother-in-law is suing her for character defamation.” – People Magazine

Oh come on! This reeks of self-promotion. The number of views on Sunda’s YouTube page were in single digits until this story broke. Suddenly, she’s been on "Larry King," "The Today Show" and all over "People" Magazine. I think this whole thing was planned as a PR stunt and how nice of her mother-in-law to go along with it.

This bogus suit will probably be thrown out, and it’s a good thing as if we comics didn’t have families, we wouldn’t have material. In fact, here are some great zingers from some of our recent workshop comics, as they performed them at the Hollywood Improv:

"I grew up with a distant father... He lived all the way over on the couch."
- Kevan C. Peterson

“While my parents were busy looking for themselves, they couldn't seem to find their way home, but they would send postcards from the corner bar.”
- Tavia Smalley

“John Elway's son quit football and Michael Jordan's son looks like the missing member of Fat Albert's gang. It must be hard being the son of a superstar...glad I'm my dad's son. No expectations to live up to there.”
-Dawan Owens

Writing a good joke about someone is a form of flattery. In fact, most of my students families are disappointed when they aren’t personally mentioned in their showcase.

If by slim chance that law suit is real, I would like to make an offer to Sunda's mother-in-law: I will write you an act with your daughter-in-law as the butt of your jokes. Let’s face it, having the last laugh is the best revenge.

Stop Looking for Open Mics and learn how to be a Motivational-Humorist

2009-08-03T13:17:00.000-07:00

My fellow speakers are going to kill me, but I am going to do a workshop this September that will reveal the secrets to a successful career as a corporate speaker.

It started in 1991 when I revamped my stand-up act by adding a motivational message as well as poignancy. Suddenly, after playing comedy clubs and staying in cockroach invested "Comedy Condos," I had my first speaking gig. Now, I was staying at the Four Seasons, flying first class, and making as much money in one hour as it would have taken me in three weeks of working the clubs. Sweet!

I then learned exactly how to market myself exclusively to the corporate market. The results? In 2008 I had over 50 speaking gigs, 2 of which included travel gigs in China and Berlin. One of my best gigs was for an insurance company where I got to spend a magnificent week on the 5 star Regency Cruise Line. They flew me and my spouse first class to Ft. Lauderdale where we boarded the ship and had our own personal butler, a balcony, a marble bathtub and shower. I was told “Order anything you want anytime of the day or night.” Just for fun, at 3am we ordered Baked Alaska, just to see what would happen. It came. And it was delicious. I scuba dove in Mexico, zip lined in Honduras, and on the last day, I did my hour long speech. OK, maybe I had to spend the week with insurance agents, but not too shabby of a downside.

It was on this trip that I truly realized the disparity between comics and speakers. There were two comics who had been hired by The Regency Line to do their set three times a week in the night club after dinner. I kept trying to find them, and when I finally did we sat and had a drink together.

“I’ve been looking for you guys…”
”Well, they told us not to mingle with the guests,” he revealed.
“Well, isn’t it great being on a ship, and sitting on your balcony at night?!”
“We don’t have a balcony. Our rooms are in the bottom of the ship with sealed 8 inch portholes.”
“Well, it’s gotta be cool having such a lucrative gig on a boat!”
“Not so much… we make $1500/week and have to work three nights a week.”

I didn’t have the heart to tell them that besides my vacation, I got paid $25,000 for my one, hour long speech.

This was shocking to me, as one of the comics on the ship had just done Letterman and had more television exposure than I’d ever had. But the perceived value of being a "speaker" was more than the value of "being funny," even though that is mostly what I do when I speak.

I'm going to be doing a one-day workshop to show comics how they can make the transition to this lucrative field of corporate comedy. Come join us on Saturday, September 26th, 10am - 4:00pm, in Los Angeles! Click here for more information.

Comedy S & M

2009-07-16T16:03:00.000-07:00

In the 1980's, I was listening to an interview with Jane Fonda who at the time was a major movie star, wrote a memoir, developed a line of clothes as well as ran her business, "Jane Fonda Workout." In this interview she referred to herself as "Lazy."

I get it. Successful people don't generally have high self esteem. So if you think you are a total slacker, stupid, and untalented, you probably have what it takes to be successful in comedy.

Although I have successfully written three books, as well as have enough material to fill a 2-hour comedy concert, in writing my new book, or any time I try something new, I feel like a total failure.

My first drafts are fifth-grader level. I'm such a bad speller that even MS spell-checker can't figure out what I am trying to say. I procrastinate as well, and seem to look for ideas in the refrigerator. There are none there unless you consider wilted spinach a premise.

I realized something today while complaining to Jamie, our Workshop Coordinator, how horribly my writing was going this week. Then it dawned on me: Worrying, fretting, and self flagellation are actually a productive part of my creative process. Looking back, I realized that every successful thing I’ve done has been preceded by months, and even years, of anguish and self chastisement.

Psychologists did a study on self-esteem and their results were surprising. The people who tested for "high self esteem" were mostly criminals in prison. They just felt they deserved your TV. The surprise of the study was that the people who tested low on the self esteem totem pole were the very people who created the test – the psychologists.

What does this mean? It means that low self esteem is good, because if you think you're a worthless piece of shit, then you try to do good things to prove otherwise. I bet that Mother Theresa's father said to her, "Theresa, you, you you! That's all you think about! You are the most selfish little girl around." And thus, we wouldn't have saints if we didn't have critical parents. And we probably wouldn’t have comics if it weren’t for low self esteem.

So, start writing about your feelings of worthlessness and as you write, perhaps they can transform into material that is worthwhile.

Keeping It Real with Authentic Comedy

2009-06-30T10:12:00.000-07:00

You might have noticed that reality TV has taken over the television airwaves. Why? Perhaps, with so much of our lives spent socializing with "virtual" friends, there is a longing for substance. People want their entertainment real – meaning no actors pretending to be real people, no scripts, and certainly no stand-up comics faking that their five-year old premises that are still pissing them off.

The call is now for totally authentic comedy. Sacha Baron Cohen has captured this "realness" in his films, where the people in it don’t even realize that they are in a comedy. So, how do we comics capture this authenticity?

In our last showcase at The Hollywood Improv, first time performer Tavia Smalley based her entire act on being in the moment and about her fear of doing stand-up. As she didn't have any carved jokes, I didn't know how her set would go over with the audience. So how did it play? She killed, as the audience at the Improv fell totally in love with her realness on stage. She wasted no time being completely honest:

"Any shy people out there? Can you imagine being up here? Neither can I." Click here to see more of her act.

The days of "Hack" topics such as Depends ads, self-flushing toilets, airports, and car nose picking are long gone. What has replaced them is finding the humor in the real stuff that doesn’t readily seem funny.

Many times, the more serious a topic and the more difficult it is to find humor in it, the better it is. I'm currently coaching a motivational speaker who is working on finding "the funny" in her story about her family disinheriting her.

As for myself, I’m being challenged by writing about my dark childhood. I seem only to be able to write at 5am as that's before my inner critic wakes up to stop me from revealing things I’ve repressed for too many years.

Getting it out on paper is the chore and finding the humor is the challenge.

Stay tuned.

Making money by being funny

2009-06-17T15:59:00.000-07:00

A weird thing happened this last tax quarter. As I was contemplating how to pay my quarterly taxes, I got a call from the IRS. Believe it or not, I loved hearing from them as they hired me to do two gigs. Which means, they'll simply be returning the money I'll be giving them. I love doing these corporate gigs.

Are you having trouble getting gigs, stand-up comics? You might want to rethink the “Making money from being funny” job market. Stand-up taught me so much: timing, connecting to an audience, writing material. I worked out my stand-up act for years in comedy clubs and that skill gave me an advantage when I went into corporate speaking. There are a lot of speakers out there who have a meaningful message, but there are very few who are also entertainers. In this economy, we all need to expand what we do. So, if you're having trouble getting stage time, consider adding speaking to your arsenal of skills. No matter where you live, there are boring business meetings going on every day that could use a funny speaker as a “wake-up them up” opening keynoter, or a “leave them laughing” closing speaker.

When I first went into corporate speaking, I got free gigs by calling local hospitals and volunteering to speak. I spoke to nursing associations, cancer wards, and even to hospital accountants. My first speech was basically my stand-up act, minus swear words, which meant that it was very, very short. Looking back, I wasn't very good, but as I learned certain basics, such as having a snapping title, ending with a “heart story,” and never, ever poking fun of the guy that signs the checks, I started booking more paying gigs.

I've now been speaking for ten years and this profession has taken me from speaking with President Clinton in Toronto to being the keynote speaker for DHL in Hong Kong. I want to share what I've learned, and for the first time, I'm going to pick a few people to mentor them through the process of finding their message and creating their speech. If you're finding that you want to not only make people laugh, but inspire them with your message, this might be right for you.

Additional information here.

Standup Career Advice: Getting out of the open mic/bringer show rut

2009-04-15T15:14:00.000-07:00

You have better chances than Kevin Bacon of getting work. Why? Because Kevin Bacon is only six degrees of separation from people who can hire him and you’re better connected. I bet if you search through your contacts you’ll find that you are only one degree from someone who can get you work.

Nepotism is alive and well in show business. Ask most comics how they got their big break and an agent or managers name is rarely ever mentioned. It’s always, “My cousin hooked me up with his friend who hired me to perform at their corporate meeting.” Or, “My sister was sleeping with this headliner who let me open for him,” or “I’m Mormon with lots of relatives.” Think about who you know and your next paying gig might be one email away.

Of course, the first step is to get good at your craft. Because, even grandma won’t hire you again if your bi-furcated penis joke was inappropriate for her Hadassah Group.. But hey, it might be a good joke, but the wrong crowd . Save it for your Uncle’s Urology Association meeting. It’s up to you to get your craft to pro level, and once you’re there it’s time to start marketing yourself locally – through relatives, friends, or just someone who owes you a favor.

One of my Comedyworkshop.com students was a Banana Republic greeter. Her job consisted of saying “Hi, welcome to Banana Republic!” In our stand-up workshop she turned her boring job into a killer act and invited her boss to her showcase at the Hollywood Improv. Cut to: paying gigs at the regional and national Banana Republic meetings.

Then there was former student Ann Lippert who had great material about shopping at Home Depot. I said “Email them a link to your set on YouTube.” Cut to: making a cool $1,500 for a 20 minute set at a Home Depot Christmas party.

Another student looked at the calendar of upcoming events at her church and asked to do a 10-minute set at the Church’s singles mixer. Not a paying gig, but she did get laid.

Go to comedydemo.com, create your electronic press package (EPK), and start sending it to people who know you.

Get your EPK together at www.standupdemo.com and start marketing yourself to friends and relatives. And if you don’t have enough material – then get your ass in our class. Even if you don’t live in LA, there is a way we can help you live your dream.

Los Angeles - Classes start April 25^th, 29^th, and 30^th. Out of LA – consultations via Skype available at embarrassingly reduced rates.

Email for more info.

How To Get Paying Work In Comedy

2009-03-31T12:42:00.001-07:00

Need paying gigs? Here's how to launch you comedy career. Try this, it works.

In my last stand-up course, I offered that anyone in class could email me their jokes and I would help punch them up. Out of 50 students, only three took me up on my offer. Want to make it in showbiz? You need to take advantage of all opportunities that come your way.

Opportunity is everywhere and don't let it pass your door. When I was 20, I took a class in video production at Pasadena City College and the teacher invited a local NBC News Junior Anchor to come talk to us. His name was Tom Brokaw. Tom invited everyone in the class to come to NBC and he'd show us around. I got there an hour early to avoid the mob of fellow classmates to ensure I had a chance to take him up on his incredible offer. Surprise! I was the only one. I spent two weeks at the station learning the news business - shadowing a different person each day, going up with the traffic guy in the helicopter, going out with the producer and learning about TV production. I made connections that later serviced me in my professional life.

Comics seem to focus energies on getting an agent and a manger, but talk to any working comic and they will tell you the real stories about how they got their break.

I just did an engagement with the Navy where I was the closing keynoter for a leadership conference. How did I get a gig like this? By having an agent? No. Because a year and a half earlier I sat next to the meeting planner on a plane. We kept in touch, and I got the job.

When I was an unemployed comedy-magician, freshly fired from my teaching job at Harvard Boys School, I thought that working Playboy Clubs would be perfect for me. At the time, they were the biggest employer of comics, singers, and jazz musicians. There were not that many young female comedy acts then, and I figured that if the headliner was a singer, a female comedy act wouldn't compete. I looked up who booked Playboy Clubs and called Irvin
Arthur in the 9000 Sunset Bl. Building in Hollywood.

"Mr. Arthur doesn't take meetings with talent without representation."
"But I know I'd be perfect!"
"Sorry."

I went in anyway.

"Hello, I'm Judy and I'd be perfect to work Playboy Clubs."
"Mr. Arthur will not see you."
"I'll wait."

I waited for five hours with my bag of magic props. Mr. Arthur motioned for me to come into his office. I did my tricks for him as he sat at his desk.

"You're good. What are you doing tonight? I'll give you 50 dollars. You have dinner with me tonight and if your act goes over good, we'll talk."

For the next 5 years, I was playing the Playboy circuit. Some years I'd be booked for 43 weeks out of the year. Mr. Arthur left Playboy Clubs and became my manager and I got into TV and did over 100 TV shows making 25 times what I was making as a teacher, and doing what I loved.

Do I sometimes miss opportunities? Of course. Just this last week I had the producer of HBO Comedy Specials over for dinner and I was too nervous to pitch him my show idea. I miss that young 20 year old who had the innocence (and, perhaps cleavage) to do shameless self promotion.

So remember, right now you are probably only one degree from someone who can get you a job. First get good at what you do. Just don't forget to say "yes" to the opportunity that is all around you.

Comedy Rant Contest Winner

2009-03-31T11:23:00.000-07:00

In Judy's latest Comedy Contest, she asked:

Is there something that is genuinely pissing you off that you'd like to turn into comedy? Not something hacky like "the guy that picks his nose in the car" or "men that leave the toilet seat up." Something that drives you crazy, causes you stress, and begs you to say "Make it a double!" at the bar. The most interesting, creative, downright angry entry will receive one free 30-minute phone consultation with Judy, where she will help you transform your premise into a working comedy piece.

And the winner is: JAMES HAMILTON, from Houston, TX. Here is his winning entry:

E-mails. E-mails that are from "We should love everyone" groups that are built around the word "except..."

For example,

"Dear Friends"

(Why is it that when I get an e-mail that starts "Dear Friends" that I KNOW it's going to piss me off?? Which word triggers that: "dear" or "friend"? I almost always want to stop reading immediately after "Dear Friends". I want something specifically targeted to ME instead of a blanketed group. I think I would prefer, "Hey asshole"). But, I regress.

"Dear Friends, we at the Society for Humanity Improvement and Tranquility, want to bring to your attention a DIRE matter.

(Oh yeah, every single one of these e-mails is URGENT, DIRE, CRITICAL, VITAL, and really, really important. These people aren't planning ahead, EVER. They live in the "Oh Crap" mode. Sometimes referred to as the Com-mode).

"That's right, its a DIRE matter and only YOU can help."

(Really? ME? Is there actually even ONE urgent, dire, or critical crisis in the world waiting for ME to solve it? How the hell did THAT happen?? And where is the rest of humanity when the world is relying on an Irish comedian to solve their problems!! Oh sure, "We're low on Guiness" is on the list that catches my attention and even creates some cooperation between gray matter and neural responses, but folks, to be honest with you, that LIST is a wee bit small! Just me? Where exactly do I rank?? Have they tried EVERYONE else? If I were to pick up the phone, right now, and call Joe Smith in Sheboygin, Wisconsin and pose the question, "So, Joe, have you heard from the Society for Humanity Improvement and Tranquility lately? Really? Not even a postcard? The bastards! Has your answering machine been on? Yes, I see. No, no it's not all that important....just some urgent, dire, critical crap that they wanted me to take a look into. You know, end of the world kinda stuff. No worries, mate. Alright then, gotta run. Have a nice day.")

"Join our e-mail list / petition / torch-carrying e-mail forwarding mob of mindless Twitter friends and...."

(Wait just one second. These "Dear Friends" of mine want me to forward their mindless trivial undocumented, non-biased, unresearched, rantings of crap to all of MY friends in my addresss book so that I'll be perceived as some kind of nut?? They want ME to hit forward instead of delete so that children in Asia will get a daily allowance of Tuna on rye and that latex-bound dominatrix in Wisconsin who's beating the nonsense out of Joe...as we speak...stops for a breather in order to save all of Humanity??? Well, my friends...count me in!! S.H.I.T. indeed.)

Yup, Judy. That's what REALLY pisses me off.

Love your newsletters!!!!

James Hamilton

On Wed., April 1st at 7pm, James will receive a free 30 minute consultation with Judy to take this premise to the next level. And you are invited to join!

Call the following number to dial into Judy's conference call:

When: April 1 at 7pm PDT
Dial: (712) 432-0950
Enter Access Code - 840479#

Talk to you Wednesday!

Calculating Your Comedy Batting Average by Cary Odes

2009-03-24T11:39:00.000-07:00

Ever come off stage and want to put a bullet in your head and then listen to your tape to find you didn't do so bad? Every standup is a little crazy. That means we might be addicted to attention, or approval, or adrenaline. Look at us: we want the audience to prove they love us every 15 seconds. Do you really want to take that weakness and hook it up to the gale force winds of daily exposure to open mic audiences? Here's a way to get a more accurate view of how you are doing, not based on gig to gig emotions and negativity.

Take a long term approach. Set a timeline, like 3 months, and see how you’re performances are improving over that period. You can look at shows in 10 show increments along the way. That way, a horrible night at The Chuckle Hut is instantly averaged into the two nights that you killed at Gigglers’. Instead of jagged ups and downs, you’re now looking at a smoother slope.

By the way, everyone has shows that go terribly wrong. Don’t think feeling miserable after a bad show makes you more of an artist. An audience that hates you is not more accurate and insightful than one who loves you.

I always go back to the tape. Usually I find I never did as badly as I thought. I also sometimes find the cause of a problem, such as talking too fast, or leaving out a key word. While listening to the tape, I rate each joke by how much laughter or applause each bit got. That way I can see on my worksheet how my shows are progressing. If you make a system out of marking your progress, it makes it less emotionally draining, and just something you’re checking up on. That way you can free up your energy for writing and perfecting your material, and perhaps, having a good time.

Cary Odes is a headlining comic who has appeared on countless TV shows and is the comedy coach for Comedy Workshop classes starting in April.

Showcase Wrap-Up by Jamie Flam

2009-03-17T13:13:00.000-07:00

The showcase at The Improv on Sunday was nothing less than a smashing success! Two packed houses to come see this sessions students perform, most of them for the first time ever. It's amazing to see how far everyone has come in just 8 short weeks, and how much confidence they have when it's over.

I've been performing stand-up off and on myself the past 3 years, from open mics to small showcases, and I gotta say that it was nothing compared to going up in front of a packed house at The Improv. Ironic how doing my act, about being a depressed 32 year old with no direction, gave me the biggest confidence boost in a long time. I only wish that Hilary Duff and her entourage who were at the 6pm showcase (I was in the 8pm show) had stuck around. Because if anyone can relate to the woes of an almost-middle age man, it is most certainly Hilary Duff, her mom, and her band of 22 year old pals.

Another highlight of the night: Stand-up headliner Jim Norton popped in to get some stage time before his Tonight Show appearance on Monday, and so delighted the audience for about 8 minutes in the midst of the showcase. It was a hilarious and harsh reminder that we all have a long way to go as comedians, but a treat nonetheless.

Perhaps the biggest story of the night was watching two of Judy's international students in action. Jo De Rijck and Anne Kraft came to Los Angeles from Belgium and Germany after consulting with Judy for several weeks as part of her "Out-of-Towner" Package. Both of them went up, and both of them killed.

Check out some snapshots of the group in action before and after the show.

Of course a big thank you to Reeta and the crew at The Improv, teacher and emcee extraordinaire Cary Odes, Judy Carter, and to all the students and up and coming stand-ups who made the show so great.

And of course if you are interested, we have new classes starting up again at the end of April.

We hope to see you in class next month!

Yours Truly,
Jamie (Workshop Coordinator)

Showcase at Hollywood Improv This Sunday!

2009-03-13T17:49:00.000-07:00

This Sunday at 6pm and 8pm, come check out Judy's current stand-up students at The Hollywood Improv! For 8 weeks they have been preparing their sets, and this is their big opportunity to stut their stuff.

Of note are two international students, Jo De Rijck and Anne Kraft, from Belgium and Germany respectively, who participated in Judy's Out-of-Towner package. They worked with Judy via Skype and flew in this week to work with Judy and class teacher Cary Odes to further hone their acts and prepare for their big comedy debuts.

Click for more information on the show and tickets!

The line-ups:

Line Up for 6pm Show:
Alika
Anne Kraft
Ashley Bank
Brian Mason
Brie Johnson
DR Ceballos
Emma Field-Rayner
Eric Berndt
Eric Nepomnaschy
Erica Lee
Hilary Lambert
James Rodriguez
Joe Cook
Jo De Rijck
Katie Reese
Kevan Peterson
Kevin Broberg
Nadia Wit
Paul Blomeyer
Jimmy Dinh
Jamie Flam
Steve Shaheen
Steven Baker
Steven Ford
Tom Spath
Will Lundberg

Line Up for 8pm Show:
Assad Motavasseli
Angela Capp
Bev Feldman
Brooklyn Dicent
Dan Wood
David Tieck
Dwayne Foster
Heather Biddle
Jason McClees
Jamie Flam
Joshua Chesler
Julie Evans
Kathy Taylor
Linda Carter
Mariann Aalda
Michael Strauss
Ross Malorzo
Ruthie Glynn
Tara Igoe
Tessa Pechal
Todd Rulapaugh
Walt Grassl

See you there!

Ben & Jerry's Comedy Contest Winner

2009-03-04T12:14:00.000-08:00

Congratulations to the winner of our Ben & Jerry’s Comedy Contest!

We received hundreds of entries to the following question:

Ben & Jerry created "Yes Pecan!" ice cream flavor to honor Obama. They then asked people to fill in the blank to the following statement:

For George W. they created "_________"

And the winner is…

David Lee with “Vanillafied Chocolification”

Congratulations David, you’ve won a free Comedy Career in a Box! The package contains three interactive DVDs with six hours of step-by-step comedy instruction by Judy, a Workout CD-ROM with the same exercises used in her world famous comedy workshops and industry trade secrets from 18 of Hollywood's top managers, agents, casting directors, bookers and producers!

For those of you who didn’t win, you can still get the Comedy Career in a Box at a significantly reduced price! Through Friday, March 20th it is only $129 (regularly priced at $225).

Here are some of our other favorites:

“An ice cream flavor for Bush? Nougat to be kidding!” from Angela Eren

“Just Plain Nuts!” from Scott Wood AND Janice Lowe

“Jamoca® me broke” from Shelly Ginsburg

“O’Henry bin hidden’’ from Eva Pettinato

“Osama Vanil-laden” from Cheryl Lynn Eera

“Gorge Mush” from Corey Cohn

“I can't believe it's not horse shit" from Jonathon Champion

“Cocaine and Cream” from Beni Ficahaz

“Axis of Caramel” from Judah Rosenstein

“What, me yummy?” from John Bovina

"Chocolate City Hurricane" (the white chips are on top and you have to dig through the mud to get to the dark chocolate pieces) from Tom Pahutski

“Buncha 'Hunches' Crunches” from Ricky Anderson II

“Yes I Can Speak English Toffee” from Micheline B

and finally….

“It's your Money, You Paid for It, Nutberry Chocolate Fudge Rubbles Walnutificate Teakberry Turrorist We Thinkify, Therefore I Cashew Chocolate Human Being and Coexisting Cherry Fish Foreign-Handed Foreign Policy Pineapple Peanut Subliminable Strawberry Strategery A pint 'o Peacekeepers and Pacemakers Hold-the-Nation Hostile Hazlenut Brainificated Banana More Few Maplenut Food-on-your-Family Fudge Strawberry Subsidation Strawberry Shaked Hands Greecian Caramel Nougat World's Biggest Polluter Peach I am America, and so Cashew” from Carla Rene

Thanks to everyone who submitted entries! We had a lot of other hilarious submissions, and thank you for your time and support.

Comic Exercise: Google It!

2009-02-13T13:59:00.000-08:00

Exercise to generate comedy material Stuck writing new material? Keep rehashing the same old stuff? Is your material dying on stage?

We comics get so wrapped up in ourselves that we come to a creative dead-end. That’s why I suggest getting out of yourself and Googling your topics to see what other people have to say about it. This is not to steal jokes, but rather to have something to react off of rather than rehashing all the junk in your brain. For instance, if your topic is “Being a woman over 50 in L.A.”: Google it! No Internet, grab a paper! Wednesday’s USA Today Life Section was loaded with set-ups. All you have to do is to come up with the funny part. Try it!

Here are some quotes from Wednesday’s issue of USA Today that you can use for setups and just add your own funny part.

1. Chris Brown's "Body by Milk" ad was pulled due to him being booked on a felony charge.

Your retort: “ ________________________________________________________”

2. A book entitled, "Why we make mistakes" suggests picking computer passwords that aren't clever so you will be able to remember them.

Your retort – “That’s why I ______________________________________________”

3. Tony Robbins gets his own show on NBC who will guide participants through challenges and obstacles and help them to make decisions to better their life.

Your retort – “If I went on this show _______________________________________”

4. A new book out "Why Him? Why Her?" says that certain personality types are more attracted to others because of the balance of chemicals in the brain.

Your retort – “Well that must mean that I ___________________________________”

5. Author of “The Secret Psychology of How We Fall in Love” says, “Sexual attraction is completely instinctual, not based in logic."

Your retort – “Well that explains why_______________________________________”

Trust me, I don't consider USA Today to be the literary giant of journalism, as it seems to pick its’ articles not based on intellectual merit, but rather on what every day people want to hear - mostly gossip. But, this makes it a perfect source for comics looking for material that would entertain a mass audience. Of course, it's always about your personal "hit" on topics that sells a joke, but starting with a topic that is general enough to be in USA Today, will at least guarantee that 90% of your audience will know what you are talking about rather than, "What's up with Kenyan dictator Daniel Moi!!" You might be fixated on CNN, but most audiences don't go, "I'm going to a comedy club, I better study up on CNN before I go."

Writing Comedy Exercise - It's all in the details

2009-01-26T20:36:00.000-08:00

Here is a simple exercise to write comedy material -

Write a quick list of what happens in your day. For example:

Woke up at 6am
Got out of bed at 7am
Had breakfast
Read the paper
Met with the contractor and met with the stucco guy

Now, go back over your list of what you did and add details and opinions:

Woke up at 6 am because the cat was chilly and needed to cuddle in the covers under the night and couldn't go back to sleep as the cat had to furiously clean herself. When my spouse coughs or keeps tossing, I yell, "Stop it!" But whatever the cat wants... the cat gets.

Got out of bed at 7am with my new alarm clock that vibrates. Why is everything so much of a choice? Now it's, "Do you want your clock to wake you with a ring, buzz, AM, FM, or even IPOD music. Why is everything so many choices? I'm still having trouble with paper or plastic.

Ate breakfast. I had a three point Weight Watcher breakfast. I’m saving up points because tonight I am going to Cheesecake Factory. I mistrust my point manual, because I know Weight Watchers is owned by Heinz --- and they say that ketchup has zero points. I just know that it has points. It's just not right.

Read the paper, and Obama is doing a great job, which is terrible for us comics. I voted for him. But man, he's not giving me material like Bush did. It's not ideal for comics to have a president who can actually speak in complete sentences.

Met with my contractor and met with the stucco guy. When remodeling a house, I'm surrounded by men whose name I only know from what their job is: Roofing man, Stucco Man, Mirror guy. What if in life everyone had names by what they did for you?

"This is my husband: 'Emotionally unavailable man’…" Last week I was with "Drinking man" and then I went home with "I swear this never happens to me man."

Comedy is all in the details.

Judy Carter

http://www.comedyworkshops.com

Helping funny people achieve their dreams

2008-12-22T16:40:00.000-08:00

Have Yourself A Jewish Little Christmas

By Judy Carter

judy@comedyworkshops.com

There was never an official diagnosis, but I knew my seasonal, winter depression was a case of serious holiday
envy caused by being Jewish at Christmas. For me there would be no outings to the mall to shop for presents, no family gathered around the piano singing “Silent Night,” no popcorn-decorated tree in the living room. Oh sure, we had Chanukah. It’s billed as “the festival of light” but it’s really Christmas-light. “Dreidel” isn’t even in MS spellcheck. You won’t find a latkeh with Judah Maccabee’s face on E-bay.

My family tried to put on a festive face. We’d stick a tarnished menorah in the window, our way of saying “us too” in the neighborhood’s winter wonderland of sleighs, reindeers and elves, each house giving off more light than a shuttle launch. We had those blue and white streamers attached to banisters and we spun plastic dreidels, but what I was lusting for was Santa, the first unavailable man in my life. I yearned to sit in his oversized lap and whisper what I wanted. Unlike my mother, he wouldn’t have scoffed, “You don’t need a training bra!” He would have, I knew, found me adorable and “ho ho ho’ed” at my jokes, making sure I got not only the training bra, but a cocker spaniel puppy as a bonus.

If I was caught moping, I’d be reminded, “We have our own holiday.” Uncle Norman never tired of telling us about the victory of the Jews over the Hellenistic Syrians in the battle of the Maccabees – hardly your warm-hearted, Hallmark moment. Christmas and Chanukah are apples and oranges. The story of Jesus born in a manger to a virgin is a guaranteed ratings win over a forgotten tribe, even with the long-lasting oil miracle thrown in as a B-story. If there’s a miracle, it’s that anyone converts to Judaism when it means giving up chocolate Easter bunnies and eating bitter herbs! Christian holidays have been “Disneyfied,” escalating in proportion and visibility. Christmas has the longest shelf life of any holiday, which is why my holiday depression extended to spring, when the last of the Christmas decorations would finally wilt from the heat.

You’d think eight days of gift giving might make up for something, but not when your family is “practical”. They didn’t want to “spoil” us. On the first day of Chanukah, I’d get one glove. On the second day, I’d get the other one. And we lived in LA, where nobody wore gloves. By day three we were out of brisket and the fun of trying to shove candles into slots filled with last year’s wax had worn off. I wanted to be part of the ritual of holiday shopping, but the only presents I needed were for were the newspaper delivery guy and my hairdresser, people whose last names I didn’t know. Everyone would be saying, “Merry Christmas” and I, who thought of myself as quick-witted, would be stumped for a response. This was no piece of honey cake.

Never mind how many scientific theories or vaccines our people have come up with, in December, we’re not a main event. Try looking for Chanukah wrapping paper in the Rite-Aid in North Dakota. Even in Manhattan, where Hispanics speak fluent Yiddish, a supermarket had put out matzo for Chanukah. And don’t think I was the only Christmas wannabe; Jewish superstar Barbra Streisand made a Christmas album. That’s right, our Yentl! You don’t get Eminen singing “Chillin’ in the Gefillen.”

I’m not sure when things were recast for me, maybe when I heard “Put on your yalmuka. Here comes Chanukah”. As unlikely a guru as Adam Sandler got me out of my funk, getting me to see there is, in fact, a bright side to celebrating the holiday of lights. I had time off and didn’t have to go to church. Christmas Eve I’d gotten into a first-run movie without dialing Fandango. Their holidays get more press, but that’s all they get; we get theirs and ours. And if we want to take a day off, we can make up a holiday. “I can’t come in tomorrow because it’s the first day of “Cha…anything”. I started counting the perks.

Here are ten reasons why at Christmas we should be happy we’re Jewish:

We’ll never end up in an emergency room because we fell off a roof putting up reindeer.
We’re not traveling during black-out periods to see family.
Because of the quirky timing of Chanukah, we can actually use frequent flyer miles.
There’s none of that lying to our kids about Santa Claus or pretending the toys are made by elves, not by children in China.
We’re not pressured to be happy, which is why it’s not such a Jewish thing to commit suicide during Christmas.
Nobody will ever knit us a red wool sweater with reindeer on it.
We don’t have to climb a ladder and hang tinsel on a tree with most of it ending up clinging to our clothes.
We’re not spending most of January standing on long lines, without receipts yet, to return a fondue set.
We can send cards that mean something. A New Years or Passover card won’t get lost in a huge stack of Christmas cards.
And if this were the only perk, it would be enough. We get jelly doughnuts for dessert, not a Christmas fruitcake with dried maraschino cherries on top.

Judy's gig in Hong Kong

2008-12-12T22:38:00.000-08:00

My 20 minute gig in Hong Kong

I’d like to thank my friends for all their helpful suggestions in preparing for my engagement in Hong Kong:

Steve North: “Judy, try this joke: ‘3 Chinese guys walk into a bar … but they all died from lead-poisoning in the paint!’ This will work great, trust me.”

Jeff Stepakoff: “Bird flu. That’ll be funny!”

Phyllis Katz: “How about this: ‘Say, what's up with your athletes? I hear your athletes are recruited when they're children -- often against their will -- and taken from their families. Boy, I wish they'd done that to me when I was growing up! Not that my family life was bad. It was great. But I think being in China would have been funnier. Am I right? Where are you from? China? Oh, right.”

OK, no help from friends.

How could I take my humor -- which has so many American references -- and translate it to be funny for the Asian Corporate culture?

For my first 20 years of my comedy career, I was about shaking it up and making waves. TV jobs were hard; matter of fact, any gig where I couldn’t mention my clitoris I considered repressive.

Then, after all that time of freely expressing myself, I got bored and took on the challenge of corporate comedy, where I had to be extremely clean.

Why?

The people I usually perform for in the corporate market are often hard working, underpaid people who don’t have the time or money to go to a comedy club. After my performance, many admit that they realized that they haven’t laughed for a long time. It’s my own little way to infiltrate the corporate world and shake things up.

But this gig was a real challenge; when I sent the client an advance outline of my act, 80% of my material got this reaction:

“Pls do not do.”

To get a better understanding of the local mindset, I spent the next few days walking around Hong Kong, where it’s hard to see where one mall ends and another begins. It’s like walking through a video shopping game. I wanted to get away to the country, so then I went up to Victoria Peak. I’d heard it was beautiful view, but sure enough, when you get to the top of the mountain – more shopping!

I went into computer alley where there were hundreds of technology stores. That’s when I got what I’d joke about: shopping, acronyms, and mostly – technology.

“You have no love life because you like things small and fast -- and your wife doesn't.”

The gig

The event was amazing. Men in black tie and women in elegant Asian dresses and embroidered Saris. I went out during the cocktail hour and spoke to one person who caught my eye, and, of course, it was the one Jewish person there.

This always happens. I could be in a Koran study group and the person next to me would be Jewish. There’s some sort of Jewish tribal magnetism that I carry with me.

Anyway, it made me relax, as I knew there would be at least one person there who got me.

The next thing that made me relax was the emcee, who was a lovely CNN commentator. She made many jokes about the economy. I guess she didn’t get the note: “Pls do not do.”

Since people in Hong Kong seem to love technology, I gave them the Top 10 signs that technology is stressing you out:

- When you talk without your blackberry, your thumbs still move.

- You stay in a bad relationship -- because you can’t handle any new upgrades.

- You’re up at 3am to go to the bathroom and you check your email on the way back to bed

- etc.

I ended up going to my roots and weaved magic tricks into my talk.

“Don’t you just want to rip bad news away from you? But it keeps coming back.” I ripped up a paper (soon to be restored) and told more jokes about how stressed they are.

“You get stressful voicemails: ‘You’re not doing enough, you’re not bringing in enough money…’ -- and that’s from your wife.”

Bada boom bada bing! I could almost hear the rim shots. But they laughed and related.

I even pulled out my old floating celery trick. This did not go so well. Someone said to me, “I don’t understand the meaning of the floating celery.” (Oy!)

But overall, I think the gig went great from the reaction I got, and the very complimentary emails from the client.

Things got even better after the gig. In the elevator, I met a young man who was there participating at the Clinton Global Conference (which was also meeting at the hotel).

He’s doing a “Green” project in Beijing, and he hooked me up with his friend who runs comedy shows for expatriates in Beijing -- which just happens to be the next stop on my tour.

Comedy Workshops goes International!

To view the rest of Judy's trip with her friend Mimi go to http://judymimi.blogspot.com/2008/12/beijing-day-one-mr.html

Corporate Comedy in Hong Kong

2008-12-11T00:33:00.000-08:00

Corporate Comedy - Judy goes to Hong Kong for a 20 minute set

I'm flying 16 hours to Hong Kong to do a 20 minute set. Flying first class, my own bed, going to be picked up by a limo and taken to a 5 star hotel. Welcome to the world of corporate comedy! Sounds chushy, huh? Easy? Read on.

I have learned that what is funny in America can be not so funny, and actually insulting in China.

Trouble started when the client asked for an outline of my speech and crossed off 80% of it with notes: "Please do not do." The topics forbidden in include:

marriages
the economy
stocks
dogs
"rap" song and dance
any bad news
problems
employees
the workplace
politics

Not so easy to have a comedy act vetted by corporate lawyers. They asked that I don't mention "problems" or "employees" which is difficult because my talk is "Workplace Humor: Turning problems into punch lines." They asked me if I would talk about how beautiful Hong Kong is. I'm not sure how that is funny, as funny comes from the "bad" stuff in life - as many comics start off their set with bad news such as: "I just broke up with someone." This is the challenge of being a corporate comic: delivering my message without compromising myself, while pleasing the client who is paying lots of money. And basic rule of corporate comedy: Never make fun of the person signing your check.

The first step is understanding the Chinese culture which I have started on the plane by testing my jokes out on the Cathey Pacific stewardess. I asked her to listen to one of my points which is: "Take your job seriously, but not yourself - make fun of yourself." According to my Chinese stewardess, "Oh no! That is very no-no. We do not talk about or make fun of our shame. Oh no!" Now forget about my jokes, even the basic premise of my speech is in poor taste.

The client also asked me to include "Jackie Chan\n"" and I wrote this joke: "Chinese people seem to like our new president Obama, but I don't they a lot of people know who he is: "I love Obama! He was so funny with Jackie Chan is 'Rush Hour'"

Note I got from the client: "Pls do not do." No politics.

I thought I would then add some magic tricks. Very visual and everyone can appreciate. I wrote to the client: "I will levitate celery and eat it midair showing how looking at things differently creates magic." Note from client "Pls do not do."

How about a custom rap song about the stress in business life? "Pls do not do."

I've been trying to make the stewardess laugh and I think I might have, but I'm not sure as when Chinese people laugh, they cover their mouth. I asked her, "Why are you covering your mouth?" She told me, "Laughing at someone is consider rude."

I'm in big trouble. I have 3 days in Hong Kong before my gig. Stay tuned.

Sarah Palin’s Comedy Set at the RNC

2008-09-09T15:53:00.000-07:00

Sarah Palin’s Comedy Set at the RNC

How VP Nominee Became a Candidate for the Improv

By Judy Carter

comedy coach and author of "The Comedy Bible"

I may not agree with her politics, but Sarah Palin made me laugh. Whether you are Democrat, Republican or listing with Lieberman, all comics and speakers can learn from the comedy techniques used in Palin’s zingy speech at the Republican National Convention.

Palin used the Jay Leno strategy–keep them laughing–and got more laughs than a Vegas headliner. As a comedy coach and the author of “The Comedy Bible,” it's worthwhile evaluating the way that the Republican nominee for VP avoided becoming a joke by telling jokes.

It shows the power of turning problems into punch lines.

It’s hard to question policy when you are laughing away your skepticism. "Read My Lipstick" packs a hell of a lot more punch than former Presidential candidate John Kerry's “27-Point Plan."

In my books and comedy classes, I talk about comedy techniques that can help anyone be funny. Let’s take a look at some of the techniques that speechwriter Matthew Scully used to make Palin look like a candidate for the Improv.

The Joke: "What's the difference between a hockey mom and a pit bull?

Punchline: “Lipstick."

Comedy Technique: Make fun of yourself first. Although this is a recycled joke about

PMS-ing female lawyers, Palin gets the audience on her side with self-mockery.

The Joke: “I guess a small-town mayor is sort of like a ‘community organizer,’ ” Palin said, referring to Obama’s time working with poor residents in Chicago.

Punchline: “Except that you have actual responsibilities.” (Ouch!)

Comedy Technique: Dis'in' the enemy. Know your audience, because those killer jokes that you have about “wacky” animal rights activists will bomb at a PETA rally no matter how funny they are. When doing a corporate gig, I find out who or what everyone hates. Whether it’s the cafeteria food or a former a CEO, in taking a swing at them, I get an instant connection to the crowd.

The Joke: “And since our opponents in this presidential election seem to look down on that experience,” said Palin, referring to her sparse credentials, “let me explain to them what the job involves.”

Comedy Technique: “Callbacks.” A callback is when you refer to something in the past that someone else said. Here, Palin refers to her response when asked if she was going to be considered for VP: “I’m waiting for someone to tell me what that job involves.”

Lesson: Caught saying something stupid, say it again. Own it and get the last laugh. Ronald Reagan was a master of the sarcastic callback. He was often caught snoozing during meetings. When asked what was discussed after an important meeting with Russia, he replied, “How should I know? I was asleep.” Little did we know that he really was asleep.

The Joke: "That luxury jet was over-the-top. I put it on eBay."

Comedy Technique: Large item to small item with a pop reference. Want to get laughs and look hip? Replace those wheezy jokes about the Fonz and Monica Lewinsky with references to popular Internet sites, TV shows or current celebrities.

The Joke: “When the roar of the crowd fades away … when the stadium lights go out, and those Styrofoam Greek columns are hauled back to some studio lot...."

Comedy Technique: List of three. This is where the first two items set up a pattern and the third one is unexpected. In this case: Big, big, small. For instance: “We live in a scary world--War, terrorism, Tori Spelling returning to TV….”

Whether you are a standup comic in front of a night club audience, a CPA presenting your new budget to the board, or a hockey mom running for vice president of the United States, getting laughs connects you to your audience and helps you to dodge criticism.

I can't wait to hear the comedy spin in the National Enquirer article about Palin's alleged extramarital affair:

“Hey, what's the difference between a hockey mom and Heidi Fleiss?

“Heidi is not from Alaska.”

Bada bing, bada boom!

Corporate Gigs in Menomonie. WI

2007-04-09T13:50:00.000-07:00

Next gig is for a liquor company in Menomonie, Wisconsin.

The hard part about this gig besides pronouncing the name of the city, is that they served alcohol AFTER I went on. And I know for the last 30 minutes of my hour ½ set, the audience is thinking, “Only a few more minutes to the real fun – cocktails!” I could have been Jon Stewart and no matter how funny I was people would still be counting down until they could drink.

But I learn a lot in the short time that I was in Menomonie. First of all… Did you know that embryos ARE babies?

Yes, this was a real billboard on Main Street. If embryos are babies, try taking your embryo to a playground and finding someone to call it “cute.”

Oddly enough the billboard was across the street from “Wonder Lube.”

Coincidence or is it?

But I learned a lot in my short time in Wisconsin. Mostly about beer. Here’s a neat trick. Ever order a beer that’s dark and bitter? Mix in some crème soda – delicious! But after a few too many of these you might be creating some embryos.

Coporate Comedy Rocks, Part Two

2007-04-05T16:49:00.000-07:00

I finished up the closing keynote on the insurance cruise gig. Sometimes I feel unqualified giving advice. Especially becaaise Aron, the other speaker, was stuck behind a boulder and had to cut off his arm. The only thing I've been stuck in was traffic and the only thing I cut off was the Audi in the next lane.

Sometimes insecurity drives me to do a better job so I customized my show with insurance material. Not that I know a lot about it, but I had all week scuba diving, snorkeling and mostly drinking with these people to learn about things like PAC forms, needs analysis, and annuities. Fascinating stuff! I came up with the top 10 ways you know you're a insurance workaholic.

Check out the top ten list here

The gig was scary as the night before the attendies were partying until the wee hours, and I was scheduled to go on the next morning at 8am. It's hard on a comic - as I usually perform for people who are drunk, not hung over.

Comedy in daylight, on a rocking ship in a storm is a challenge. But I opened with joking about just that and got them.

Then I flew to Vancouver for a gig with the Pacific Dental Conference. This is the largest dental conference in North America! The vendors' exhibit hall was enormous, and I could get free samples of dental dams. Oh, the perks on this job!

I did a "get out of stress with humor" 2 ½ hour training 2 years ago and they hired me back. Coming up with different 2 ½ hours would be impossible as I didn't have enough time or pot. So I teamed with actor Tim Bagley.

I'm sure you've seen Tim on TV, at the Groundlings, in his one-person show or at the Un-cabaret. Listen to him – he is hysterical. Click here for a link to his IMDB page. Talk about a 'working actor!'

Tim and I put together Improv exercises and snappy dialogue and performed a different 2 ½ hour session for two days. I've never worked in a team before and what fun. Tim made me laugh so hard I couldn't speak. In the audience were scouts for the Texas Dental Conference, so it looks like this might spin into more dental work and I'm not talking about crowns and bridges.

Here is our top-ten list for "Dental Stress."

One of the best parts of doing corporate gigs is that I get to visit friends from all over the world. We all got together for dinner.

Right after the gig, we all got into a rental car and headed to Whistler for skiing. I figured I needed a ski vacation after my cruise vacation.

Whistler was a bust though because it was raining and the snow was so heavy and thick. At one point, I somehow wandered off the trail and found myself waist deep in the heavy stuff. No one was around. I couldn't see my board. I couldn't move. It started to rain on me. I started crying. I was so stuck.

But then I thought of Aron stuck behind the boulder, and dug myself out, slid down a cliff on my ass holding my board and headed right into a bar. Who says motivational speakers don't save lives?

On to Wisconsin….more to come.

Corporate Comedy Rocks

2007-03-04T14:20:00.000-08:00

I used to regret getting out of doing standup in clubs, but I would have left that scene earlier if I knew about corporate comedy. Let me tell you about this incredible gig.

Corporate Comedy Rocks!

I would say I’m on the road, but I’m really on the ocean...

I have a gig for an insurance company. It’s a week on a fancy cruise ship going to Mexico, Costa Maya, Roatan Island (Honduras), Cozmel and Key West. The company has chartered the entire ship for its sales people. After boating the ship, I arrived in my suite to find a bottle of champagne.

The suite is complete with a bedroom, eating area, bathroom with bath and shower and a balcony with a sea view.

After a brief lifeboat drill we sailed off.

I will spend six days cruising and being a part of this party and then do a one-hour speech on the closing day. Also booked on the cruise is Aron Ralston. You might have seen him on Dateline. While hiking, a boulder slipped, landed on him and trapped his arm. He was stuck there for six days until, using a pocket knife, he hacked off his arm and hiked to safety. He told the group his inspiring tale of survival. There was not a dried eye in the house as he told his story of “One foot forward at a time.” The guy is amazing and tells his story in his book, “Between a Rock and a Hard Place.” Rumor has it – he has a movie coming out. I’m so glad I didn’t have to get my arm stuck underneath a boulder to give a speech. The only thing I’ve been stuck in is LA traffic.

Days on the ship include swimming, drinking, eating, shuffle board, drinking, eating and more drinking and eating. We docked in a little town called Costa Maya.

I went scuba diving with Aron as my buddy. He is amazing with one arm. He only needed help getting off his wet suit, or so he said.

Next stop was Roatan Island which has the 2nd largest coral reef. We did a zip line where you slide on a wire through the forest. You might think – “Wow, this doesn’t seem like Judy’s working that much.” But on the zip line I did think of a joke. I’ll tell you later.

Next was more drinking on the beach and snorkeling.

I might have written another joke, but after my third beer, who remembers? I have until Key West to get my shit together. But wait, room service is knocking on my door bringing some appetizers...

More later!

How Not to Suck as an Emcee

2006-11-13T08:47:00.000-08:00

Once a month, the advanced class has a guest teacher and last night it was Dan Rosenberg, comic and author of “How Not to Suck as an Emcee.” Dan gave us some great tips. After all, if you finally get a booked at a comedy club, it will most likely be the opening spot where you also emcee the show. And as Dan says, “a bad host can kill a show. Even with a great headliner, a shitty emcee can ruin the night as hosting is the foundation of the show.”

Dan will be giving this workshop at the California Comedy Conference.
ONLY 2 MORE WEEKS LEFT TO REGISTER!!!
http://www.comedyworkshops.com/ccc.html

Here were some of his tips.

Get at least three interactions when you open a show. “Are there some people here who want to have fun?” “Anyone ready to laugh?” and so on. I got to see this tip work the next day as I had a gig in Racine, WI. I changed my opening to implement this tip and it worked like gang busters. With corporate gigs, very often I’m coming on to an ice cold group who is in the middle of eating dinner. Or my opening act was an accountant giving a powerpoint on next year’s budget forecast. Exciting. Using Dan’s tip, it took only a few minutes to bring everyone’s attention to the stage and get the energy and laughs flowing.

When emceeing, give comics great intros. And if you are a comic, always write out your intro on an index card. “ALWAYS write out a few credits and write out your name phonetically . Funny intros are great if you don’t have any credits. Never tell the emcee to, ‘Just say anything.’”

Reset the stage for the next comic, i.e., put the mic back in the stand, move the stool, and adjust the mic height for the next comic.

When introducing the next comic, do the “Wait and Shake.” Meaning, wait for them to come up, shake their hand, and THEN leave the stage.

Make sure you end the intro with the comic’s name as the punch line.

If someone bombs, don’t mention it. Show respect for your fellow comics.

Don’t start with blue material. If the show goes blue, then you can join in and “Blue it up.” But some times if the next comic is clean you’ll need to “Blue in down.”

Keep politics to yourself. As the emcee, your job is to be likeable and get the audience going, not alienate them.

Never make fun of the wait staff. They hang with the club bookers and the managers and if they like you, you have a better chance of being asked back.

Ask the club if there are any announcements that they’d like you to make. Makes you sound like a pro and helping them sell drinks and t-shirts is another way to get asked back.

Keep the show rolling. Don’t do a lot of time in-between acts. If someone kills, then don’t slow the show down with material. If a comic tanks, then bring out you killer material to bring the audience back. You’re the host and it’s up to you to make it a great night for the audience as well as the comics.

Dan gave us 25 tips, if you want the rest of them, then get his book, “How not to suck as an emcee.”

Dan Rosenberg will be doing his “How not to suck as an Emcee” workshop at the California Comedy Conference. Details at:
http://www.comedyworkshops.com/ccc.html

Creating Material on Current Events

2006-11-06T11:59:00.000-08:00

I've decided to teach a workshop in writing current event material at the California Comedy Conference. Having jokes about current topics tells the audience that your act is fresh and that you're on top of what's going on.

Here are some tips for creating current event material:

-When doing personal material, try bringing a current topic or person into the "mix." i.e: "My mother hates her neighbors. She's become the Al Qaeda of the condo unit." (Then add act-out.)

-A list of three is a great way to bring current events into your act. "We live in a scary world, terrorists, the war in Iraq… (Then add the funny one which can change as the news changes) i.e: "Our vice-president is shooting people, Britany Spears is a mother…" This list of three structure gives you an easy way to plug up to date material into your act.

-If your current event joke is no longer current – let it go! Current jokes usually only have a shelf life of a few days. Oh, all those great Cheney shooting jokes, gone. ("Oh it WAS an accident. Cheney thought it was a gay cowboy.") It's hard to throw good jokes away, but you're a hack if you're still doing Clinton "cigar" jokes. It's long over – let it go.

-Sometimes you prepare some current events jokes and get to the comedy club and all the comics before you have beaten the topic to death – let your jokes go.

-Watch Leno and see if you jokes are as good as his. If they are, you might want to start submitting jokes to TV and Radio. If you've never submitted jokes before, don't start at the top, but start with your local radio DJ's.

At the California Comedy Conference, you'll learn how to make money by submitting to TV and Radio.

See you at the conference! Info at

http://www.comedyworkshops.com/ccc.html

Judy Carter

How to get a Manager

2006-11-01T16:00:00.000-08:00

Every two months our Advanced Class in LA has VIP night. This is where we invite a VIP, invite the public, get everyone drunk and showcase for them. After the showcase we have a Q and A with the VIP.

Last month, manager Barb North, gave us insider information on what managers are looking for when they watch standup comics. Here's what we learned…

What are some Do's and Don't's of showcasing?
"When putting together a showcase set, put up front material that reflects your 'point of view,' with material that tells the audience who you are. Don't use your funniest line if it doesn't say anything about you. And have jokes that payoff quickly. You shouldn't go more than 15 seconds w/out a payoff. If it's for TV and they ask you to be clean, be clean. If they ask you to go 8 minutes, don't do 15.

What do managers do?
"A manager is there for your whole career. Some are equipped to bring both creative and business insights. A manager will help you get all the different kind of agents you need and work with them to get you opportunity as well as look over deals and advise you. A manager / comic relationship is like a marriage – I have to love a comic – I have to believe in them."

"Managers have different tastes. If a manager rejects you – it may not be because of your talent."

How do I get on Premium Blend?
"They aren't shooting Premium Blend at the moment... they are doing Gotham, but in general, it is harder if you are white male just because there are so many white male comics and so the competition is steeper. They are always looking for women – but some female comics get their shot when they aren't ready yet, which can hurt. The upside is that if it takes you longer to get noticed then you will have more time to get better. A lot of shows say 'Pitch me someone with credits.' Credits beget credits so work wherever and whenever you can until you get established."

[to comic Joseph who is Hispanic] "There is a huge Hispanic market and more and more opportunities all the time."

[to comic Joseph who is Hispanic] "There is a huge Hispanic market and many Latino Laugh Festivals."

"Mad TV and SNL are looking for people who can do characters. If you are a standup and want to get on that show, then it's good to weave characters in and out of your act."

"Start with smaller festivals. Don't go right to the Montreal Festival as your first festival."

[When talking to Kenny, who's act is about being a dad] "Your act is about being a stay at home dad, I would find that easy to market."

"It's important to learn cold reading. If a casting director likes your looks, she might like to have you in for an audition and you will need to know how to make copy come alive."

"Showcase under the radar until you are ready."

Barb also talked about what was on everyone's mind:

How to get a manager:
"There is a magic about it. I like to sign someone I connect with and I think I can sell. A manager needs to see someone several times. If you are out there and performing a lot, you will get seen."

Things that turn a manger off?
Email blasts. I like to get emails on what you are doing, but don't harass a manager. We are people too and need a life. And don't think if we don't sign you right away we are rejecting you. Keep us informed on what you are doing, but don't over do it.

Barb North will be giving a workshop at the California Comedy Conference. Dec 1 – 3. Spots are still available.

www.comedyworkshops.com/ccc.html

Breaking Through Writing Blocks and Getting the Funny OUT!

2006-10-30T14:51:00.000-08:00

This is #1 in an occasional series of tips to keep the creativity going.

Tip #1: Get out of the house!!
When people find out that I make a living from doing comedy, they inevitably say, “Wow that must be so much fun.” Wrong! 95% of my time is spent doing really boring stuff: sending out pr kits; making calls to clients; getting airline tickets; writing checks’, going through 300 emails -- most of them asking if I’m satisfied with my dick size, and of course, kicking a printer that’s stopped working. Doing the gigs is fun. Getting the gigs takes work.

Most creative people have the same problem: When do I get to do the creative stuff? Sometimes I feel that if I do the same material again, I’ll die of boredom. Oh wait… the audience beat me to it. We all need new material, but it’s hard to make the time for it. Even if you have time, so many porn sites…..

WRITING TIP: GET OUT OF THE HOUSE
I find writing very lonely, so I need to work in a public place. If I’m home, I get distracted. So when I need to work on new material, I leave my house and go to my Westside office. I find it very inspiring, as it has large leather couches, ornate gold leaf tables, wireless high-speed Internet, ocean view, and even waitress service. Maybe you’ve seen my Westside office -- The Hotel Del Mar lobby. I bring my lap top, put on my noise canceling headsets and spread out my papers. I always order a Cappuccino and give the waitress a large tip. This way, they have a positive attitude about me setting up camp here. Who says office space on the Westside is expensive? I have an ocean view office for $15/day…I even hold meetings there.

What gets your creative juices flowing might be something different. Know what it takes for you to create and set time aside to do it. I wrote many books, but each one started in some hotel lobby!

At the California Comedy Conference, there are so many workshops designed to get you past your blocks, get the creative flowing, and start making money from being funny!www.comedyworkshops.com/ccc.html

Working out new material

2006-07-26T11:08:00.000-07:00

Working out new material – Judy bombs!

After years of doing corporate comedy, keeping it clean, and edgeless, I was getting bored. Money is great, but I missed the excitement of the comedy salad days. I challenged myself by working a comedy club in Berlin. I hit topics that I would never do at a corporate gig: concentration camps, gay marriage, erotica museums… (See Berlin blog). Wow! It got me so high walking the comedy edge again.

So, I’m now doing something that is one of the scariest challenges I’ve ever done: I’m going to my standup classes, not as the teacher, but as a student. The first day, the teacher, Cary Odes did an incredible exercise of finding the “Anti-You.” Meaning, what are the qualities of a character that would be your opposite. We then had to get up and perform need material. I’ve performed with President Clinton in front of 8500 people. But that pales in comparison to getting up in front of the 9 other comics in the class. It’s not easy being the “Comedy Goddess who wrote the book.” I knew I was going to suck.

That’s the thing that makes doing standup a constant challenge. No matter how much success you have – you will always suck when trying new material. Go watch “The Comedian” and watch Seinfeld struggle and bomb trying to put together a new five minute set. But avoiding bombing by doing the same material gig after gig is a killer in a different kind of way. So, I got up, did my new set, some bits worked, most bombed, but joining my students in their struggle rather than sitting back in the comfortable teachers chair – exciting!